Or, "Somebody better give me an improperly wrapped burrito that will fall apart in two seconds!"
I have eaten at a dozen different Chipotle restaurants and I have never had a problem with a badly wrapped burrito that fell apart in two seconds. They usually don’t fall apart until the very end but that is because of the physics of burritos. I know you are trying to be funny but humor needs a little bit of truth to work.
I suspect if you have poorly wrapped burritos maybe you should look inside yourself and try to find out why they don’t care about your burritos. Try being nice to the people who work there. Most of them aren’t there as a career and that is not a Chipotle issue. That is a fast food issue. It doesn’t take much, just greet the people who are going to serve you, ask them how they are doing and give them enough time to answer the question. A moment of slowing down the line, a little bit of humor, maybe smile once in a while.