Trust me, living with a 96 year old is about ten times more difficult than a sibling who isn’t there realizes. Even if she is “all there.”
It isn’t easy for the caretaker sibling or the 96-year-old, as both lives are diminished in some manner. In our case it’s a win-win for all concerned. Mom gets to stay in her home instead of gong to a bad facility, as we couldn’t afford one that’s $5,000+ a month. Bro gets the house forever.
It isn’t easy for Brother’s family. And Mom isn’t in charge of her own home any more as another woman is Lady Of The House.
All lives are disrupted to some degree. That’s true whether it’s a parent and child sharing a home, siblings, spouses, or just roommates. Accommodations and compromises always are a factor.
Sis and I bring her south for the winter and everyone adjusts again.