Seems like this needs a song.
Pornalee, sung to the tune of:
The night was clear, and the moon was yellow, and the leaves came tumbling down
I was standing on the corner
When I heard my poor son bark
He was barkin' at the poh-lees who was oppresin' him
In the dark
Pornalee went to the crime scene
And she stood across the lawn
She said, back off poh-lees and she pulled her
Forty-four, Ooh.
When the sheriff rolled on up,
The suspect walked away.
Fought the cop and called for mom,
Called for Pornaree.
Chorus:
Pornaree, Pornaree,
Maid with filthy hair;
Mayhem came along with thee,
And curses in the air.