I just thought of the classic South Park episode:
Stan Marsh : What the hell are you doing, Cartman?
Cartman : My Mom said if you want to become a lesbian, you have to lick carpet.
Kyle Broflovski : Really?
Stan Marsh : Well, I got a Indigo Girls CD, the guy at the record store said it was perfect
[puts the CD in the player]
Kyle Broflovski : I got these killer Birkenstocks.
Stan Marsh : This is a bunch a’ crap! I’ve been licking this carpet for three hours and I still don’t feel like a lesbian!
Lol!