Crap. Carp. The Boston Globe might be suitable for wrapping one, at the very least. I guess you have to be left handed, blind, and mentally ill to get on their editorial board, but I digress.
Newspaper. I laugh at people who still get propaganda from that fold of paper. Anything written in it is outdated and likely inaccurate.
Now we need to put an end to the national news readers. I personally quit watching that garbage years ago. Even Fox has the stench of cnn now.
Journalist? A catching word for a cheap whore.