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Gladiator
Steyn Online ^ | 2 May 2020 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 05/02/2020 3:27:03 PM PDT by Rummyfan

Our star movie columnist, Kathy Shaidle, is off this weekend, so her fill-in guy is obliged to step in. I can't quite believe it's twenty years since this film was released, but nevertheless it is: May 5th 2000. So in honor of its first two decades, and in memory of a ridiculously distinguished cast too prematurely departed (Richard Harris, David Hemmings, Oliver Reed), we salute a film that has the courage of its own ridiculousness and features a splendid turn by Russell Crowe, although his turn as Javert in Les Miz came close, and so did his performance at the Riskie Awards. The historical research by Ridley Scott speaks for itself, so just to set the scene:

Germania, 180 AD. Rome is at war with the, er, Germaniacs, who stand around in the Black Forest grunting like Brits on the piss who've nutted themselves in one pub fight too many. You need a cool head to take on the Roman Army, and the only one the barbarians have belongs to Caesar's emissary, whom they thoughtfully decapitated before sending back. They wave the old noggin around like a treasured footie ball, grunting, "Ug Eugh Blug" or, translated from the original gibberish, "Over 'ere, mate." It's a scene that rings oddly contemporary in the age of Isis, although when I first saw it, a year before 9/11, it gave me the giggles. But then barbarians always seem funny from a distance, don't they? Here they scratch their pelts and grunt some more, seemingly unconcerned by the fact that the Roman legions are lighting up their blazing arrows and fireballs, the smart bombs of the day. The ensuing battle, whose outcome would seem never to be in doubt, is apparently the final bloody act in a twelve-year war.

(Excerpt) Read more at steynonline.com ...


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To: Rummyfan
It's payback time, and, under Ridley Scott's lean direction, that means there's no room for sub-plots. Somewhere in pre-production, the archers lobbed their flaming shafts at the script and laid it as bare as those Germanic forests. Not only are there no sub-plots, there's barely any plot for any sub-plot to be sub-.


41 posted on 05/02/2020 8:02:16 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: Enterprise

Yes where the German barbarians are chanting the Zulu war chant from the 1964 movie Zulu.


42 posted on 05/02/2020 8:13:57 PM PDT by Midnitethecat (St)
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To: Rummyfan

He looked good, back in the day.


43 posted on 05/02/2020 8:35:45 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady (The greatest wealth is to live content with little. -Plato)
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To: Midnitethecat

LOL!!!


44 posted on 05/02/2020 8:37:50 PM PDT by Enterprise
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To: Rummyfan

“Gotta love Steyn!”
He is a great wordsmith and entertains us as well!
I love his musical references, too!


45 posted on 05/02/2020 8:46:15 PM PDT by BatGuano (Ya don't think I'd go into combat with loose change in my pocket, do Ya?)
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To: nfldgirl

So, you think jeans were not worn then? Com’on Man, you
want to go out back and do some push ups?/s
One of many editing misses in movies.

There was a Western movie scene of action in the 1870s that showed contrails in the sky, Ooops!


46 posted on 05/02/2020 8:52:57 PM PDT by BatGuano (Ya don't think I'd go into combat with loose change in my pocket, do Ya?)
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To: BradyLS

Makes me laugh just thinking of it!


47 posted on 05/02/2020 10:10:52 PM PDT by rlmorel (The Coronavirus itself will not burn down humanity. But we may burn ourselves down to be rid of it.)
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To: ArtDodger

Re: We have fine actors. The screenwriters, though....

I completely agree.

The English speaking cinema world has enough acting, director, and technical talent to crank out three or four epic movies every year.

But there are NEVER enough epic story tellers.


48 posted on 05/03/2020 5:54:56 AM PDT by zeestephen
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To: Rummyfan
Well, maybe it didn’t kill him... but how was he still on his feet?!

It's amazing how much abuse a human body can take! But alcohol is toxic, and drinking to excess has consequences. Somebody did a study a few years back, of male drinkers in the former Soviet Union - apparently men who drink 1.5 liters of vodka per week have a one-in-three chance of dying prematurely. Thing is, a lot of folks drink a lot more than that; I knew a geologist, years ago, who drank almost that much every single day (plus a few pints of beer for lunch ;>), and somehow remained functional. Made me laugh when I stumbled across the "Uncyclopedia" article on geologists, which described members of that profession as "the world's first alcohol-based life form"...

;>)

49 posted on 05/03/2020 8:45:34 AM PDT by Who is John Galt? ("Urban Dictionary" - A website 'of the urban dicks, by the urban dicks, and for the urban dicks.')
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