Probably because from what I've seen, many gay men want two things at the same time: they want to be accepted during their non-sexual moments (at work, for instance) but then they want the ability to shock and horrify whenever the urge moves them. Which is why they campaign for acceptance, and then display increasingly ostentatious acts of dress and behavior.
In fact, I think the polarization of America is working to fulfill their needs: one half of America constantly assures them of their lovability and worth, and the other half is always there when they want someone to shock and disgust. That way they can run back and forth between the two groups, being offensive to religious conservatives, and running back to be reassured by the liberals. They'd be miserable without either one because they crave both kinds of attention, positive and negative. That, and the sensation of power that comes from shocking and offending people. Constantly.
You are astute in your entry. All the things in your post do lead to one finality by the people around them: things that either greatly differ or are new and aggressive in our society create mistrust. Mistrust creates fear. So as long as the topic is handled this way, it will, at best, be determined as evil and not be accepted as anything other than that. So it may be legal against the people, but with the pandering of the politicians to make it legal, it will be shunned even within the non-religious community with fear.
rwood