Whistleblower Ciaramella: Congressman Schiff, I’m a little worried about this. I’ll do what you tell me to do and say what you want me to say, because I hate the President, but I could get in a lot of trouble if they find out what really happened.
Schiff: Don’t worry about it. You have nothing to fear. I’ll cover it all up and make sure they never find out about you.
WB Ciaramella: Congressman Schiff, I’m just a low level analyst, at least Vindman can get a little retirement out of it, if something happens and move to the Ukraine but I’ll have nothing and could end up in prison.
Schiff: I told you don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything. Look, I’m not those clowns at DOJ/FBI that were too stupid and lazy to cover their tracks. I’m a ranking member of Congress, they can’t do anything to me. I got this. Trust me.
WB Ciaramella: Ok, sir. I’m just really scared. I won’t last very long in prison and I don’t have the money for a $1500/hr lawyer to help if this thing goes bad.
Schiff: I got this. Don’t worry.
Yep.
Parody. Much more accurate than Schiff’s.