I think the key was in her next line....
"Now I’m a doormat to my dog. I’m sensing a pattern here."
I believe I know what the problem is here because I have it too. People consider me a "nice person," but it's because I always give in, even when any normal person watching from afar would be aghast that I caved.
No matter how cruel / screaming / nasty someone is to me, the next day I am like, "Huh? Yesterday? What are you talking about? .... Oh, you mean THAT? Pshaw! Never mind. I behaved badly too."
I'm certain there's a way to be a person who is both "nice" and "sticks up for themselves" simultaneously, but it doesn't seem to be in my genes.
The person who diagnosed DivineMoment's problem as merely being "only dating guys who are jerks" is wrong. Her problem is that she hasn't dated someone who has a doormat the same size as hers +/- 20% so that they can treat each other equally. If I was to write out of my life all the people I've ever cared for deeply (since I was an adult), who were jerks to me by making me a doormat via some act of physical confrontation (shoving, knocking me down, throwing hard objects at, etc) that I didn't retaliate against in kind, then I would truly be a lonely person, for there would only be 1 or 2 people left.
Yes, of course if someone wipes their feet on my doormat too many times, I eventually distance them out of my lives. So it's fortunate for me that virtually all family members who did this to me, have done it at most once or twice since I became an adult.
Even the very best people can wind up extremely frustrated with someone - whom they care for very much - for an instant, and if that 2nd person is one they know is a doormat, basic animal instinct can take over for a fleeting moment, and a physically abusive move can be made.
DivineMoments - if I have completely mis-psychoanalyzed you based on a handful of words that sounded to me like a parallel to my own experience, then I apologize.
Thank you for your input.. It is greatly appreciated!
Maybe doormat was a poor choice of words on my part. I’ve never been physically or mentally abused by a boyfriend or husband. They were always kind. They all said they loved me when they left. That I don’t have a mean bone in my body (this was before menopause. Heh.). I knew the relationships were over long before they were. They left me for women who had children. They needed someone who “needed” them. I think the main problem is I have a bad habit of living for the people/pets in my life. Maybe I didn’t want to outshine them or maybe it was more of a control issue than love. One thing I know for sure.. I got through it all with an ever-deepening faith in God.. I am so thankful for my many blessings.