All kidding or (not) aside, it is a very sensitive issue, one I
have 20 years of experience with - raising an non verbal
severely autistic child.
I see and understand both sides very clearly - people with handicapped kids want to bring their special needs kids everywhere for socialization -to help them cope adapt and enjoy as much family time as possible, others dont want to deal with the yelling yelping quacking roaring that are attempts to communicate, as well as other repetitive behaviors that are strange and hard to understand and can scare the bejesus or even endanger other little ones as during a meltdown, (which can occur anywhere)
My son from heredity/medication has grown from toddler to lineman size, and food is extremely important to him. His public bellowing if triggered could intimidate most servers and diners and we have managed it like this: In most cases home cooking (our grilling/cooking is terrific) and takeout/delivery/drive thru works just fine, but he can also, due to his past experience being taken to restaurants with his special Ed class and the family, generally, regulate himself enough to enjoy sitting for an extended meal- we are planning a day trip to a nearby seafood shack this week weather permitting where we a group of 5-6 will sit outdoors at our own table, he will stuff himself, eating neatly and enjoy every minute. If someone susses that hes disabled no big deal, therell be no or limited polite interaction with others and if he acts up we can exit rapidly, everyone deserves to eat their meals peacefully.
You gotta look it this way - disabled kids have a lifetime of mental and/or physical struggles in store, it is very sad that so many will never be able live a life filled with the typical milestones most of us are fortunate to realize- for them a simple pleasure like dining out, should be indulged but I agree never infringing on others. Theres plenty of lousy parents of normal
kids who allow them to run amok, kick, scream, throw stuff, etc. in any public place (stores seem to have ditched the old no kids under 13 rules) and they should respect others space as well
Great post! God Bless You and Your Son!