“Article 1: Whereas Trump is a big meaning and hates all women of color...”
“Article 2: Whereas Trump used the Russians to steal the election from the rightfully elected and most honorable Hillary Clinton...”
“Article 3: Whereas Trump gets two scoops of ice cream when others at his table get only one...”
“Article 4: Whereas Trump spends his entire day watching the Gorilla Channel...”
You forgot...”Whereas President Trump puts Heinz ketchup on steak...”