HRC advice:
1. Blame half the electorate for being unenlightened boob “deplorables”
2. Drink as much alcohol as you can.
3. Stumble and fall down a lot. Have big meat wagon vans available for the times your staff needs to toss you in like a side of beef.
4. Be sure to cough uncontrollably all you can at the microphone.
5. Don’t campaign in the states you have locked up.
6. Campaign at 1/3 the pace of your rival. Don’t exert yourself.
7. Lay out an ultra radical agenda of baby killing and spending trillions on the global warming hoax.
8. Tune your speech patterns to your audience. Speak in “native dialects” when necessary. Use idioms like “Ah ain’t no ways tarred.”
9. Energize your base by promising to “Take things away from you for the common good.”
10. Wear very loose, baggy clothes to hide the medical appliances taped to your body. Maybe buy a few Mao Suits, too.
That’s a good starter list, but I must have missed lots of other important advice. What did I miss?
Hot sauce
Call people super predators.
Have a personal unsecured email server sitting in your bathroom through which you send out all sorts of official government correspondence, including those considered highly classified, all to avoid having said emails subject to retention and search as required by law.
LOL