[Labyrinthos]

Lamparello is a Boston College-educated philosophy professor who has been involved in the Catholic Church in the past.

He is about as Muslim as Mrs. O'Leary's Cow and Nero. But what the hey, he could have been a Muzzie and that's all that really matters.

[COBOL2Java]

He is about as Muslim as Mrs. O'Leary's Cow and Nero...

Why yes, of course, you have direct access to his soul.