Illinois needs to replace the slogan “Land of Lincoln” with “Land of Al Capone”! Thieves to the right, thieves to the LEFT and thieves in front!
I think I will retract this as I remember Cook County's late, unlamented Soda Tax and previous Pate Foie Gras ban. Al was all in favor of letting the people do what they want, so long as he got his cut of the action.
I don't know who to replace him with though. We need somebody so sanctimonious and full of themselves as to be almost beyond parodying. Anybody know of a Chicago resident that meets that criteria?