[Yaelle]

Thanks. At first I read your post as sarcastic but you’re genuine. And I appreciate that kindness ethic you have.

I love truth but really, “Grandpa died peacefully in his sleep” is a lot kinder to both him and the kids rather than “He was writhing in agony and defecating.”

[marktwain]

I have difficulty lying.

Perhaps it is a character flaw.

I can lie. Sometimes, it is necessary.

But I really dislike doing so.

So I avoid "white lies".

I would just tell them Grandpa died. He was sick, and he died. No need to go into the messy details.

But, at some point it is necessary for children to grow up and know the messy details about life in general.