In some ways you and he were lucky. Though often at the start, the person is so unhappy, because they realize they are losing their minds. It is a little better in some ways when they are no longer upset about that as they don’t know they lost it. Mom thinks she is perfectly fine, with just about zero executive functioning or short term or much long term memory.
That’s what happened to my late mom. She fought against selling her home and moving to assisted living, always talked about going home, did not participate in activities.
Then when she deteriorated and went to a nursing home, she quit asking to go home, would smile and laugh, and greet everybody who walked past her even if she had just seen them 2 minutes ago. She spoke a lot of gibberish, but she was so happy the staff was crazy about her.
Maybe lucky...My dad was a WW 2 combat vet and was a builder(bricklayer) - vibrant -
Seeing him like that ? oh boy.
It saddens me that I have lived a longer life than he did.
My dad’s wife was his caretaker and I have so much respect for caretakers...
I can’t imagine what you’ve been through with your folks, so yeah, maybe we were lucky.