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I personally challenged the existence of God until He was made plain to me, but I was honest enough to not start by saying “there is no God” but by asking “if there is God then where are you, because right now You do not exist to me”.

There is a fine line between prosecuting and honestly stating one’s lack of choices but to ignore God for a time until further notice...

Which painfully happened because unless one has a real taste of how God was persecuted by being persecuted oneself, there is no corroboration possible.

I think Hawkins has a delusion of persecution on his wheel chair. He has no idea how unfair he is and how people who believe in God enabled him to be treated fairly with a sense of fairness.

I think his condition made him bitter- and i mean what unsaved person wouldn’t be? (even saved people can become bitter if something that bad happens). I think perhaps, in Steven’s mind, He got stuck on the common unsaved objection that “If there is a God, why is there so much suffering?” Many unsaved folks are turned off to the concept of God because they think a good God wouldn’t allow such suffering. They tend to think that even if there is evil in the world, that God would be big enough to forgive everyone, and not allow suffering if He really did exist. They tend to think man is worthy of forgiveness because ‘man is essentially good’- (Really, propel that think this think they are owed eternity in heaven, if there is one, because they have earned it by ‘being more good than bad’- they tend to think that if there is a God, He owes them)

Sadly, Steven appears to have allowed his bitterness over his condition to convince him that God couldn’t exist- A Truly brilliant person, would at the very least, have considered Pascal’s wager, and as such, never dared declare there ‘is no God’, but have thought, as yo did, that IF there is a God, He did not make His presence known to him, and been open to the idea that God could exist- Sadly the Evil One convinced Steven with a lie- and Now Steven knows w2hat a terrible terrible mistake he made if he did indeed die without accepting Christ as Savior- -