What an awesome essay !! I wish all vanities were this well written and insightful! Thank you! There is much I would like to write, but it is very late for me. That said...
I too am around the same age as you, Brett, and Dr. Ford. But I grew up in the Midwest. While our parties and social events probably had a distinctly different ambience than soirees on the coasts, there are many situations I witnessed and was the victim of, which I wish I could blot from my history and mind.
People forget, or maybe don’t acknowledge, that many men have had there own #metoo moments. I’m NOT going to go into it - so no worries there - but despite the hush-hush nature of such things when they happen to guys, I did always confide what happened to someone - my brother. I kind of don’t buy the idea of not telling anyone at the time or within a year or so of the event. Teenage years are a time of openness and expression. Considering there was no blood, no actual violence and no nakedness, it surprises me she never discussed it with anyone.
And that brings me to one aspect of this story that strikes me as odd. In any other #metoo moment recollections I can think of - including my own - there is some aspect of the experience that is shameful. There is something you were or you did that repulses you and makes it hard to share with others. In Dr. Ford’s story, there is none of that. She did nothing embarrassing. Was never naked, or disrobed, or exposed. In fact, she had 2 layers of clothes on - a bathing suit and regular clothes !!! She is, psychologically speaking, wrapped in figurative armor. Maybe I am thinking about it the wrong way. But, on the other hand, if you set about to concoct a story specifically to make someone else look bad, a story that wasn’t true, you would be inclined not to include in your invention something almost universally true of reality - a detail embarrassing to yourself.
Thanks for your kind words and let me say how sorry I am for your MeToo moments. Seems human nature is such that almost everybody either has one, or is close to somebody who does.
You know I should have mentioned that aspect! My husband and I have discussed this exact topic a lot this week - embarassment & its role in hurting a person. I think shame is one of the strongest emotions - and it’s got to be a huge factor in why you don’t share things.
But in this story there isn’t 1 embarrassing or shameful thing. She
1- drank far less than others
2- didn’t come on to anybody
3- didn’t even kiss a guy voluntarily
She should be super proud of this event to show how strong she was in the face of evil! And sharing about this awful pair of guys who go around throwing girls into a room and attempting abuse - well that would be really natural. She’s even come out tonight (Katz has) saying that it’s NO surprise the other woman, Leland Keyser - has NO recollection of the party and says she doesn’t even know Kavanaugh. If I had ever met a guy who was up for the Supreme Ct - I’d know it. I remember just about every guy I even liked from that era.
Thanks very much for sharing.
She needed to say she was clothed over the suit to explain why there was no penetration... which would otherwise be easy with just a suit...and would make people question why she didn’t seek a doctor. So she needed an explanation.
Conveniently enough there’s no description of what the boys were wearing... or whether their clothing would have been in the way of anything really happening or would have been cumbersome for a drunk guy to strip off or unzip while holding down a writhing woman and trying not to get bit while putting his hand over her mouth. Was he naked, in trunks or fully dressed? How many hands did he have?