Interesting...62 posts until we learn of a real case. Must have been awful. Sounds like you outgrew it?
Life has changed drastically - by time, tragedy, wisdom.
I am with the second man in my life, the one I intend to be the last and we have such a visceral connection. It's kind of still there but at the periphery. Maybe it's a sadness that some day one of us will die that those post-orgasmic endorphins bring on.
Maybe it's some cosmic reality check telling you, "hey, you realize this ain't going to last, right?"
Who knows?