[Lazamataz]

I’m allergic to glutton, so all my food is glutton free.

And orgasmic.

[Larry Lucido]

I’m on a vegan-free diet. When I go out with vegetarian friends (yeah, right), I always ask to see the carnivore selections at the vegetarian restaurants. I always make a scene about their anti-choice attitude.

“The meat restaurants have non-meat choices! What, you can’t keep a hamburger patty in the freezer? You can’t keep a can of tuna on the shelf?”