From my observations, it seems men will go for the same 20% over and over, never learning from their rejection to turn their attention to the other 80% whereas women are more realistic in realizing their chances. Who knows, maybe it’s the biological clock that makes them want to accept a partner before it’s too late instead of wasting their fertile years going for the unattainable.
You sound a lot like me. I was never asked out until my 20’s- watching from the sidelines as all my friends got asked to dances, hit on, had a slew of boyfriends and finally got engaged, married, etc... I was a professional third wheel. I used to joke that I could be a billionaire and figure out how to make and sell my invisibility cloak to the military.
I too was very lucky that one guy finally decided I wasn’t too repulsive and took a chance on me. Twenty eight years later I’m still happily married to my best friend, but the waiting to get there wasn’t fun, and I learned a lot from my observations along the way.
My kid brother (only 18 months younger) was in the 20% of the guys who always got hit on by the girls. He used to say "I can have a lot of girlfriends, but I can only have one wife." He spent so much time looking for Miss Perfect (I could write a book about some of the great girls he passed over) that he was 50 years old before getting married. Fortunately, his chosen Mrs. still had enough time on her biological clock for one.