DH and I adopted our granddaughter after taking a year of legal struggle to get custody another year and multiple thousands of dollars to adopt. She lived with her drug addicted birth mother moving in with a series of drug dealers every few weeks. Our son who fathered the baby is no better. I am 55 years old with a 5 year old child and blessed. I think grandparents adopting and raising a little one surrounded by love is the best option. I could never let a stranger raise my grandchild as long as I have breath. I do not think we have damaged her at all raising her as grandparents and now legally mom and dad.
As I said there are those that beat the odds. In general, mother/father is the optimum for every child. That’s not always possible. With every less optimal situation there seems to be a price to pay, first by the child then by the society that has it’s members made of of these children after they’re grown.