Brits cannot even carry a stick or switch legally if the obvious intent is to use it as a weapon - even if for self defense.
Lester Maddox Ax handles are a definite No-no as are barrel staves and pitchforks.
Ungland...
How about cricket bats or stumps? Croquet mallets or posts? Singlesticks? Tipstaffs? Brickbats? A nice torch? The cat? Surely the cat!
What about torches?