Real combat is scary.
But you have to control your fear and let your training take over and work automatically - or you are a liability on the battlefield.
Very sorry to hear about this. I’d rather be dead than not move to the sound of gunfire in that building to kill the shooter and save children’s lives.
In 2003 there was a gang related shooting in my neighborhood where a guy was shot in a front yard as children played. The neighbors under fire complained of extremly slow resonse by the LA county sherrifs who waited in cars at the entrance to the neighborhood as the 911 operator asked the mom hiding with children in the closet to go see if the shooter was still out there The HOA held a neighborhood town hall meeting with the sherrifs and here is the sherrif watch commanders response...”our primary duty is enforcement of the law, not public protection. My primary duty is the safetey of my officers ....blah blah then came Q&A at which time I raised my hand stood and said , “why are you such cowards, you are in the wrong business, you are fired, I will defend myself” got up and walked out, to a sprinkling of applause from a few brave people