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Marriage should be a private contract that, like any contract, is binding in accordance with its terms upon its signers but which does not affect anyone who didn’t sign it.
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So, the vows are binding, as part of said contract (to death due us part)? How ‘bout infidelity?
Hell, I’d be happy if the MALE had *any* chance in divorce court (unlike today)...
Both parties are to be held to the terms of the contract, with those terms having been determined when they wrote it and signed it.