First Draft of speech
I have done my part for civil rights, by keeping old stereotypes alive. Without it, we could not perpetuate the accusation of racism in the wake of a two-term black President and all of the progress that African Americans have made in the past half century. Then what would happen to affirmative action and minority set asides? What would happen to the Democratic Party, if wealthy football players stopped taking a knee and started voting GOP? So, to keep hope alive, with Redd Fox long dead and buried, somebody had to act like a horny old goat who can’t keep it in his pants, and with Amos and Andy off the air, somebody had to act like a larcenous schemer, and I had to be that man, so that we could keep calling The Man racist. The whole country was depending on me, and I could not in good conscience let them down. Thank you for the best years of my life. G-d bless America. Goodbye.