This threat has had a strong emotional impact on me.
I never fully addressed my mother’s death many years ago. My siblings simply moved on, and the family dissipated.
For a new dad I’m old as hell. I have a newborn; when she is 20 I will be 70. I have another one who will be 21 when I am 70. I think about my mortality in regards to them. That saddens me. My entire focus on this earth is to protect them.
Sorry for the stream-of-thought, wardaddy-esque post. I now need to find a cute photo of kittens or puppies.
Your children are lucky....My parents were in 20’s when they had us, (I’m 66 now) but I never felt they knew what they cared much, and specifically my mother dumped her family 20 years ago, moved with her (4th) husband to another state, and didn’t give a forwarding address. (After she sold our childhood home my dad built, without telling us.) It’s taken me these 20 years to figure a few things out, but dealing with narcissism, bi-polar,(Mom) and alcoholism (Dad) made parenting tough. I’ve tried remembering all this with my Son...The last time I saw my father he said to me “I just didn’t know what to do”...and I knew he was talking about fathering...after his death I learned HIS father had committed suicide by hanging himself in the family home when he was 14....It explained many things.
Anyway...I’m trying to say, your children will love you because you CARED, and ACTED like you CARED about them, ie loved them.
What you wrote is an absolutely normal and good viewpoint...and natural, I would think.
I always try to keep in mind that nothing is guaranteed, including living until 70. Or even tomorrow.
Do the best you can, while you can, and appreciate it all..:)
Thank you for sharing some of your story and fears. It is much appreciated. Congratulations to you with the young ones. :)
It’s time for...Jack LaLanne!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_lalane
Try to outlive the kids! ;-D
Teach them. Teach them all that you can, a little at a time. Save for them. Find out how they can get whatever you’ll have to leave for them without a fight over an estate.
You’re a great dad. And you have more wisdom than a 20 year old. You know you won’t see them get super old so pack it all in every day, every year. Give them all the love and make sure they will always know you are loving them even when you are not here.
I made sure my oldest 2 will be there for my youngest two should I go before they are grown. I am now an older mom and I need to do what I describe in the first paragraph myself. I feel I can be a better parent now than I was when I was young. I tell my first born I made all the mistakes on him.