Posted on 11/28/2017 12:14:45 AM PST by beaversmom
As a divinity school student, I had just started working as a student chaplain at a cancer hospital when my professor asked me about my work.
>SNIP<
"I talk to the patients," I told him. "You talk to patients? And tell me, what do people who are sick and dying talk to the student chaplain about?" he asked.
>SNIP<
They talk about the love they felt, and the love they gave. Often they talk about love they did not receive, or the love they did not know how to offer, the love they withheld, or maybe never felt for the ones they should have loved unconditionally.
>SNIP<
They talk about how they learned what love is, and what it is not. And sometimes, when they are actively dying, fluid gurgling in their throats, they reach their hands out to things I cannot see and they call out to their parents: Mama, Daddy, Mother.
>SNIP<
I have seen such expressions of love: A husband gently washing his wife's face with a cool washcloth, cupping the back of her bald head in his hand to get to the nape of her neck, because she is too weak to lift it from the pillow. A daughter spooning pudding into the mouth of her mother, a woman who has not recognized her for years.
>SNIP<
They tell me what it feels like to know that you abandoned your children, or that your drinking destroyed your family, or that you failed to care for those who needed you.
Even in these cases, I am amazed at the strength of the human soul.
>SNIP<
When the love is imperfect, or a family is destructive, something else can be learned: forgiveness. The spiritual work of being human is learning how to love and how to forgive.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
I recommend Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and her book On Death and Dying.
Dr. Ross ended up her interesting career, with some damage to her reputation. She identified five stages of grief – denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance.
I found it helpful in understanding the process of death and the peace in the transformation.
"Dying Testimonies of the Saved and Unsaved" at https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Testimonies-Saved-Unsaved-Solomon/dp/1500833797
"In this most touching, and spiritually rewarding, book, Shaw records the dying scenes, and the last words, of both the saved and unsaved, both famous and unknown. You will see the tremendous difference between those who are Born Again and those who have refused salvation, as they approach the hour of their death. As one physician once remarked, "Christians die well". Biblical doctrines which saints of God have believed all their lives sustain them wonderfully in the hour of their death."
They usually talk about testifying against the Clintons...
I am as big a Beatles fan as they come, but if they only ever wrote these words it would be enough.
Okay, you win post of the thread.
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. From your post it sounds like there may have been some unresolved business between your father and you; I pray that you really can let it go, like you indicated (”no hard feelings”) and find peace in the aftermath of his passing. You are a good daughter to look after your dad and to instill that same caring character in your daughter.
May God bless you now and give you rest.
Bookmarking; thank you.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (KJV)
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
So sorry for your loss.
One of my favorite Grandpa Jones songs:
Falling leaves that lie scattered on the ground,
The birds and flowers that were here cannot be found.
All the friends that he once knew are not around.
They’re all scattered like the leaves upon the ground.
Some folks drift along through life and never thrill,
To the feeling that a good deed brings until,
It’s too late and they are ready to lie down,
There beneath the leaves that’re scattered on the ground.
Lord, let my eyes see every need of every man,
Make me stop and always lend a helping hand,
Then when I’m laid beneath that little grassy mound,
There’ll be more friends around than leaves upon the ground.
To your grave there’s no use taking any gold,
You cannot use it when it’s time for hands to fold,
When you leave this earth for a better home someday,
The only thing you’ll take is what you gave away.
If you don’t mind my asking, what is it that you understood?
Anger is a demon.
ROFL. Actually, a good statement is: There is nothing in this life for which we should miss heaven. Get the priorities straight.
The night before my mother died, we were taking turns sitting with her (she was lucky enough to die in her own bed) and I had the overnight watch from around 10 PM to the next morning.
She had been unresponsive for several days and they didn’t think she would make it through the night.
I was able to sit with her, and I held her hand and talked to her at intervals over the hours, it was a one way conversation as you can imagine. She was unresponsive and did not move at all, her eyes closed as she breathed heavily.
Around 3 AM, in the dim, quiet room, I felt like she was going to pass any minute, her breathing was so labored.
I told her how much I appreciated all she had done for me, and how much I loved her.
Her eyes opened, she looked directly at me, and said “I know that.” Then her eyes closed again and she returned to her inert state.
I was so astonished, I felt like I had been hit by an emotional thunderbolt. It was like looking at the moon on a cloudy night, not seeing it, then for just a couple of seconds, the moon emerges from a gap in the clouds, and is fully visible, only to become shrouded again a few seconds later.
I don’t know if she was aware at all, but I felt so lucky, as if I had been given a few more seconds with her, to talk to her one last time.
She did not expire that night, and at 7 AM, my wife picked me up and we went to breakfast and then took a ride to the seashore. I was standing by the water throwing rocks, when my brother called to tell me she had passed.
Some mature in righteousness, others in unrighteousness.
Similar to how the last days are described with massive earthquakes, and people hide in the rocks, cursing God even though they reject Him in every fashion.
Criminals hate authority and even attack it when they are so scarred in their arrogance that they refuse to face themselves.
Nothing wrong with righteous indignation, just remember vengeance is the Lord’s and we were all condemned before we were saved.
God is good, suffering is life. I suffered plenty for years. I’m grateful as hell I didn’t suffer more. Many have.
My hope is to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandpa, not screaming and yelling like the three guys in the car w him.
Thanks for sharing the warm thoughts.
I needed THAT!
lmao.
Good thread, perfect humor break.
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