Posted on 11/24/2017 7:59:34 AM PST by SeekAndFind
A funny thing happened on the road to common sense, rationality, and respect for women. Mike Pence somehow became a villain again.
In the month since the New York Times and The New Yorker exposed Harvey Weinstein as one of Americas more grotesque sexual predators, weve seen the sad reality that sexual misconduct knows no ideological or religious boundaries, and weve now understood that its far more widespread than many (men, at least) ever knew. Women are describing the workplace as a minefield, and some industries (entertainment and politics) seem to be particularly rife with abuse. Whats a person to do?
This brings us back to Mike Pence. As was famously explained in a Washington Post profile of Karen Pence, the vice president doesnt dine alone with women or attend events where alcohol is served without his wife by his side. Its a variation on a limitation thats extraordinarily common in Christian circles particularly in high-profile Christian ministries and its not that different from limitations outlined by none other than the Lefts favorite American writer, Ta-Nehisi Coates. Heres Coates writing powerfully in The Atlantic:
Ive been with my spouse for almost 15 years. In those years, Ive never been with anyone but the mother of my son. But thats not because I am an especially good and true person. In fact, I am wholly in possession of an unimaginably filthy and mongrel mind. But I am also a dude who believes in guard-rails, as a buddy of mine once put it. I dont believe in getting in the moment and then exercising will-power. I believe in avoiding the moment. I believe in being absolutely clear with myself about why I am having a second drink, and why I am not; why I am going to a party, and why I am not. I believe that the battle is lost at Happy Hour, not at the hotel. I am not a good man. But I am prepared to be an honorable one.
Put me with Pence and Coates. I also have rules. Ill have lunch alone with female colleagues, but in more than 20 years of marriage, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times Ive had dinner alone with a woman not my wife. And Ive managed that without ever disadvantaging or discriminating against any woman I worked for or with. I have other rules as well. For example, I travel quite a bit, but when Im traveling alone I dont eat or sit at bars especially hotel bars unless there is no other place to sit.
I have those rules not because I think that without guardrails Im going to assault someone, but because I understand human nature and because I respect women. I dont want any woman to feel like Im putting her in an uncomfortable or compromising position. This may come as a surprise to critics of the Pence rule, but there are quite a few women who dont want to dine alone with male bosses. There are quite a few women who believe that dinner (especially with drinks) is unnecessarily intimate and that business can be conducted in the office or with other colleagues present.
But dont tell that to Pences critics. This week Christianity Todays Katelyn Beatty took to the pages of the New York Times to write The Christian Case Against the Pence Rule. Given her intelligence and theological knowledge, I was surprised to see this paragraph:
The Pence rule arises from a broken view of the sexes: Men are lustful beasts that must be contained, while women are objects of desire that must be hidden away. Offering the Pence rule as a solution to male predation is like saying, I cant meet with you one on one, otherwise I might eventually assault you. If thats the case, we have far deeper problems around men and power than any personal conduct rule can solve.
No, no, no. Lets break this down in the simplest terms possible. The Pence rule (or its variations) arises from an accurate view of mans fallen nature. In this context, it means three things.
First, when men and women are alone especially at night, especially with drinks there is a far greater chance of mutual or one-sided attraction (not assault) than when theyre in groups or in professional settings. Even if they dont intend the attraction. Even if theyre happily married. If you doubt this reality then, well, I dont know what to tell you. Spend any time in professional settings, and youll understand that workplace attraction happens, and when it happens it tends to happen not in the midst of conference calls but rather in those settings that get far more personal and less professional.
Second, variations of the Pence rule protect both sides from reputational harm. Its a simple fact that observing a married man alone at dinner with a woman other than his wife can start tongues wagging, and its also a fact that leaders of Christian ministries have often had to take extreme measures to protect against intentional sabotage of their reputations. I know leaders who never travel alone in part because of actual past hostile attempts to place them in compromising positions (with photographic evidence). If we should understand anything in 2017 its that our politics is vicious and poisonous. The more high-profile you become, the more careful you should be.
Third, surprise, surprise but there are actual predators out there, and women who operate under some version of the Pence rule gain an additional layer of protection. Moreover, corporate implementation of the rule is like a flashing sign that says, This workplace aims to be safe and professional.
Beatty says, All the people I know who keep the rule are men. This is yet another puzzling statement. Every Christian ministry I know that imposes the rule on its employees does so without regard to gender, and these are ministries that employ multiple powerful women. In fact, almost every powerful Christian woman I know keeps a version of the Pence rule.
But heres where critics of the Pence rule have a point. If youre in a position of authority, you should endeavor to create a workplace where equal opportunity is evident and gender-based favoritism is absent. It is unfair to take Luke out for dinner and never take out Laura. The better approach is to keep business matters in business settings, and that includes when its late and folks need to eat.
Its getting wearisome to see a public debate that calls out human failings without grappling with human frailty.
Its getting wearisome to see a public debate that calls out human failings without grappling with human frailty. Those of us who fully recognize human frailty are far more likely to avoid human failings than those who blunder through life thinking people should act respectfully, only to find out time and again that they dont and wont. We can ask and expect that people behave better, but we should also know and understand that many people wont. True sexual predators dont give a flying flip about cultural norms, and no amount of awareness will make them better people.
So why not expect that businesses will erect safeguards? Why not take greater comfort in those people who actually understand that man is fallen and broadcast that men and women wont be placed in uncomfortable situations at work? If Christian conservative Mike Pence and atheist progressive Ta-Nehisi Coates can both see an obvious truth, I wonder whose view of the sexes is broken.
Finally, lets at least be honest enough to understand that everyone draws lines. I daresay that even some of the loudest critics of the Pence rule have their own standards. Will they meet alone in hotel rooms? Especially after the Weinstein revelations? Im not arguing that the Pence rule should be the dogmatic norm (after all, my personal rules are slightly more liberal than his), but if professional America doesnt start erring on the side of caution in the relationship between the sexes, it will broadcast loudly and clearly that it has learned nothing over the last month, and what has happened before will all happen again.
READ MORE:
Mike Pences Wise Family Practices Exposes a Deep Divide over Human Nature
Al Frank Gives Liberals Another Chance at Virtue
We Were Young, but 2016 Wasnt All That Long Ago
David French is a senior writer for National Review, a senior fellow at the National Review Institute, and an attorney.
He is a problem because he IS moral. That’s a problem these days.
Finally someone at NR wrote something that makes sense.
L
I remember all that ridicule when Pence explained his policy of self-accountability.
In light of the recent revelations re sex misconduct, let those fools ridicule him now.
Another reason Mike Pence is being prudent has nothing to do with prudishness or self-limiting his impulses.
He’s in public life, which makes it multiply important to (as lawyers say but don’t mean) “avoid any appearance of impropriety.” He does that by eliminating the most common situation in which impropriety can be inferred, even if one is innocent.
One of my favorite preachers says he doesn’t have a cell phone. His wife has a cell phone. If you need to talk to him, you call her.
“I am wholly in possession of an unimaginably filthy and mongrel mind.”
Sounds like my slightly older cousin who once told me in a braggadocious sort of way that he was a “sick mother-f’er”. All I could say in response was that I was literally sorry to hear it.
It’s unfortunate that sexual harassment and discrimination exist. It’s just as unfortunate you can’t be yourself because someone is crazy, vindictive or takes something out of context.
During Social Interactions:
If One is Married,
the spouse must ALWAYS be Invited
No Exceptions
They may decline, but the effort must be made
I am a lustful beast that must be contained - and by the grace of God I have been contained and will continue to be.
Bookmark
No. The problem is that SOME women want to have it both ways. They will flirt to get-ahead, but the man better not ever act on it. The consequences as we have seen can be delayed up to 40 years.
How to confuse the media.
But I am prepared to be an honorable.
He doesn’t allow feminists the opportunity to sleep their way to the top.
The Left hates Mike Pence because he’s a Christian Conservative they can’t bring down. If he was a Muslim Democrat and had the exact same rules, they would back away bowing respectfully.
When the smoke clears, Pence may be the last man standing in govt.
My rule is the wife rule. Would my wife be okay if I had private dinner with female worker.
Like racism, the more shrill the left becomes about offense-in-the-eye-of-the-offended sexual harassment the LESS I care about it.
I’m tired of women don’t lie unless they accuse a powerful Democrat, in which case hags like Hillary will gleefully lead the beat down charge against the accuser.
There is sexual harassment that isn’t just some gal getting her space invaded by a guy who isn’t some Soy Boy ... and it is a problem ... but when the Congress has had its cop a feel cover fund for years exactly WHO are these nitwits to even care? Same with every leftist who ever didn’t care about Bill raping gals or using an chick as a humador : who are THEY to care now or EVER?
These leftist who go on about the supposed hypocrisy of the right because folks don’t believe them and are utterly banal in their own hypocricy that they pretend to care now.
The DNC and media really only care about these issues inversely to if a leftist is in the White House.
F*cking leftit a$$holes!
Attributing this thought to Pence: “Men are lustful beasts that must be contained, while women are objects of desire that must be hidden away” but not to the very savages who practice that idea 100%!
I respect Pence and his choice. I don’t respect those women who use their power over men to get what they want out of them, and then dump them with an accusation of assault.
But only I know what thoughts flash through my mind and know the boundaries I should set.
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