It’s true some women aren’t strong enough to stand up to the bullies. It’s also true that in a lot of workplaces, especially small businesses, women are actively punished for standing up for themselves; the dudes are the ones who complain when women say, “You may not touch me,” and the owners call the women out for not being able to get along with their coworkers. Despite the laws, most women know a lawsuit is a permanent black mark on your record that can destroy your career, so in toxic companies, they have to decide whether to put up with it or leave quietly. It happened to me, and I left quietly because in that workplace my only other choice was to allow it to continue or be fired then savaged in references. I’m not sure even allowing it to continue would have let me keep that job once the bosses decided I was pathologically unable to play nice with others, even though there were no other complaints about me, and many, even from customers, about my harasser. But I was careful looking for the next job; where I am now, there’s still a lot of jocularity, but I know if someone did cross the line, I’d be expected to push back. If after that he thought of complaining, he’d be calling the boss’s wrath down on himself.
It also doesn’t help that there are a LOT of women out there making bogus complaints, or retroactive assessments. The degradation of social rules and cues also makes it less clear than it should be.
These things create a broad and dangerous gray area not only for both sides, but for third parties.
It’d be nice to be able to believe every complaint, and just be able to go off on offenders without reservation.