I have a solution. Bring in John Cleese to teach a class in self-defense against fresh fruit. They will never be afraid of bananas again!
Sgt.: Now, it’s quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him ‘elpless.
Palin: Suppose he’s got a bunch?
Sgt.: Shut up.