Vaginas, on the other hand, are a veritable climatological panacea. Ocean levels rising? Never fear, vaginas suck it up like a shop vac. Global warming got you down? Well, help is on the way. Like a refreshing subterranean breeze sent by Gaia from the caves at Lascaux, cosmic vaginal consciousness heals our precious environment via evaporation much like a swamp cooler. Ice age? Wise vaginas become a collective heat pump, cooperatively sharing the warmth in a maternal embrace.
I think you are onto something. That thesis would sell. Big time! Not only could you be published and peer reviewed, your study included in mandatory Diversity Studies classes at universities and colleges across the country, you could get a government grant worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to further your scholarly research into this wonderful panacea to the world’s problems. Maybe even a Nobel prize.
I say, go for it! Work that thesis! Make it sound more academic. Up the postmodern jargon substantially. You can do this!