I agree and for someone with dementia eating and drinking are often their last conscious acts of free will. The whole process of dementia is extremely difficult for the patient and all involved but, IMO, however degraded their mental faculties are it is their decision. A caregiver can only offer them the option but it is not for the caregiver to deny the option.
My wife cared for her wheelchair bound dad for 25 years, and ALZ mom for 6 years. They both died on the farm here.
I will say that spouses may need a man cave to survive odd dramas. My dad went quick, at age 57, with congestive heart failure from diabetes. I kid my wife that I want to go quick..
We’re near Salem, and will surely add our voice to this..