I was being thoughtless.
Had I any idea I was disturbing the man in any way I would have done whatever to stop it.
I don’t know what was going on back there but evidently there had been some sort of attempt to shut us up and we didn’t get it.
This is just conjecture because his exasperated shout for us to shut up seems born from prior frustration but I guess at this.
I have no idea what to say. I am an awful, horrible person that should die tonight in my sleep. I feel bad enough about it but guess what, I can’t go back in time and change a damn thing.
I did pray to that Man on the cross, I prayed with all my heart and soul that I would not get angry, make a scene, embarrass myself. I said I was sorry, I shut up, I didn’t pout or hold my breath, I sang during the mass, yes I did because part of my prayer was to please let me be of best voice so I could show this jerk I could sing.
Yeah, at my age, acting like a child. But damn if I didn’t sing right pretty and the part of me that writes fiction wanted him to feel bad, yelling like that at a nice woman who sings and leads us during mass.
Or something.
I have felt bad about this every second since yesterday but I did suffer the humiliation and I didn’t make a scene.
And I sang real nice.
You're being too hard on yourself. It was a small thing and the guy over-reacted. Maybe he has a problem in his life which has worn away his patience?
Anyway, the other parishioners know you -- they've seen you in the choir for years. They won't make anything of it.
It's over. Let it go.