Replies

Snowflake Whine.

For people who never get tired of whining. All our whines come exclusively from California, Washington, New York and Illinois. Below is a partial list of our selection

1. Naughty Russian, with хяк дела (a/k/a "hacker")grapes grown with computerized high-tec breeding techniques in the sunny Crimea, but fermented and bottled in California, this fruity whine is a favorite of legendary movie producer Michael Moore

2. Syrian Shriek, a recent overnight sensation. The grapes were fertilized with selectively excerpted executive orders and tons of bull-sh!t. More and more bottles keep making the way to whine shops, despite warnings from the FDA and BATF that the sparkling effervescence that characterizes this wine results from the explosive pressure under which it is bottled. The Shriek Corporation fervently denies that anyone has yet been killed by their product.

3. Snowflake Riot, the only whine that is kept at boiling point until it is opened. Bus-loads of this whine keep showing up all over the country. Its bizzarre logo, a picture of the bottle with a burning rag in it, is attracting ever-increasing buyers.

4. MAGA-hat Contusion. This whine was specially fermented so that its color matches exactly the color of human blood on a MAGA hat.

5. Soros' Favorite. This peculiar whine gets its even more peculiar name by virtue of its bizarre label, which shows billionaire George Soros rubbing his hands together and smiling evilly. Even more strange is the fact that when you pick it up and bring to the cash register, the label becomes animated. The hands move. I swear I've seen it! The whine, parenthetically, is horrible.