You have to be a hypocrite to be a liberal. For example:
1. Abortion (taking the life of an innocent) should be a constitutional right, while the Death Penalty (taking the life of the guilty) should be unconstitutional;
2. Burning the American flag is freedom of speech, while simply displaying the Confederate flag is “hate” speech;
3. The belief that there is a “rape culture” on campus, as most men are potential rapists, while also believing that men (who ostensibly identify as women) should be allowed to use women’s public rest rooms and public showers;
4. The belief that we should not “jump to conclusions” that an obviously terrorist act is an act of terrorism” before all the facts are in, while also believing that any developing story about an alleged attack on a Muslim is immediately considered an act of “right wing extremism” or a “Trump supporter”;
5. The belief, before Nov. 8, 2016, that Trump is outrageous for claiming that the election could be “rigged”, while also believing that, after Nov. 8, 2016, the election was “rigged”;
6. The belief that Trump’s refusal to say before Nov. 8, 2016, that he would not challenge the results of the election was a “direct threat to our democracy” as Hillary said, while also believing it is their patriotic duty to challenge the results of the election after Nov. 8, 2016;
7. The belief that saying “black lives matter” is ok and race-neutral, while also believing that saying “all lives matter” is racist;
8. The belief that cigarettes should be illegal, while believing that marijuana should be legalized;
9. The belief that more gun laws making it more difficult for law-abiding citizens to own guns will keep guns out of the hands of criminals and terrorists;
10. The belief that all criticism and disagreement with George W. Bush was patriotic, as Hillary screamed, but that criticism and disagreement with Barack Hussein Obama is racist.
11. The belief that a bakery should be forced, against their religious beliefs, to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple, while believing that its ok for a restaurant owner to deny service to anyone whom he believes voted for Trump or for entertainers to refuse to perform at the Trump inauguration;
12. The belief that colleges and universities should prepare students for the real world, while believing that those same students should have safe-rooms, coloring books and crayons when they suffer micro-aggressions and are confronted with harsh realities;
13. The belief that so-called “Sanctuary Cities” can ignore federal laws regarding immigration, while also believing that cities and States can be sued by the federal government if they pass voter i.d. laws that the feds disagree with;
14. The belief that it was ok when Obama patted Russian president, Medvedev, on the leg and whispered that he should tell Vlad (Putin) that he (Obama) would have more flexibility after the election in 2012, while also believing that Trump having any relationship with Putin is disastrous.
Reminds me of this list...(it would be even longer today, if updated)...
What you MUST believe to be a good Democrat…..
This list is by no means complete, but it is a good start to explain what some people have to believe in order to support a particular political party. Most especially, it is what you have to believe to vote for that party, in any office…
1. You might be a Democrat...
2. If you believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding…
3. If you believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same 4th graders about sex…
4. If you believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists…
5. If you believe that there was no art before federal funding…
6. If you believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented, changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by Yuppies driving SUVs…
7. If you believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural…
8. If you are against capital punishment but support abortion on demand...
9. If you believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity…
10. If you believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but Loony activists who’ve never been outside of Seattle do…
11. If you believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it…
12. If you believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars…
13. If you believe that the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution…
14. If you believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high…
15. If you believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison…
16. If you believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t, because the right people haven’t been in charge…
17. If you believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady…
18. If you believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge…
19. If you believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House…
20. If you believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal…
21. If you believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States…
22. IF You believe that anyone wanting to keep the products of their labor is selfish, though, it is not selfish to take other people’s money away from them to pay for the programs that you want to fund.
23. IF You believe that the constitution is a living document that casts both an umbra and a penumbra.
24. IF You believe that you can make our co country stronger by breaking up its most successful corporations.
25. IF You believe that the death penalty is wrong but think that killing unborn children is merely a “choice”.
26. IF You are sure the reason why socialism did not work in the Soviet Union was because they did not start out with enough wealth. Further, you believe that the US has enough wealth to support socialism.
27. IF You believe that discouraging wealth building and job creation through the means of a graduated income tax is “progressive”.
28. IF At every opportunity you want to give men fish instead of teaching them to fish for themselves.
29. IF You believe that the phrase “it couldn’t happen here” is enough to insure tyranny does not take root in the United States.
30. IF You believe that the bad consequences of peoples’ life decisions should be born by all of society, especially the rich.
31. IF You believed Hillary about the “Vast Right Wing Conspiracy” ... and that it made Bill commit adultery in the Oval Office and use foreign objects to have sex with “that woman”.
32. IF You believe that punishing criminals of color for their violent crimes is racist.
33. IF You somehow believe that the major media in this country does not have a liberal bent.
34. IF You have to believe at least 35% of what comes out of Al Gore’s mouth.
35. IF You believe that government’s duty to provide the national defense, one of its few constitutionally charged duties, is lower in priority than all of the un-constitutional wealth-transfer systems you can devise.
36. IF You must practice disinformation and hate under the name of progress. You strive to be an emotional being, devoid of logic and reason. You must not understand the true meaning of compassion.
37. IF You must believe that a lone speckled owl is worth more than 10,000 American’s livelihood.
38. IF You must accept dead citizens voting in an election, so long as they do not cross party lines.
39. IF You believe that it is morally acceptable to disarm your neighbors, leaving them at the mercy of criminals, even though you will still rely on men with guns to protect you.
40. IF You not-so-secretly wish that people never become successful, insuring that their continued dependence on the welfare state keeps them voting the Democrat party line.
41. IF You believe that the bill of rights should act to limit the powers of government, except that the 2nd, 9th and 10th amendments have absolutely no meaning nor any power. Further, you ignore any part of the constitution that will slow down your form of creeping socialism.
42. IF That to give people a tax cut is to “spend” their money. About 111 times in the course of the three presidential debates, Gore said that “Under Gov. Bush’s tax cut proposal, he would spend more money on tax cuts for the wealthiest 1 percent than all of the new spending that he proposes for education, health care, prescription drugs and national defense all combined.”
43. IF People who believe that all of their money belongs to the government, except that portion that the governing class decides to “spend” on tax cuts, should vote for Gore. So, too, should those who believe that if the government undertakes huge new spending programs, taxes will not increase.
44. IF That you can trust a man who swears his abiding passion is to “fight” for the little guy even though, in 1997, out of an income of $197,729, Gore donated only $353 to charity, and who, in 2000, had to be publicly shamed before having the toilet and sink in his tenant’s house repaired.
45. IF YOU BELIEVE That there is any such thing as a “lock box” in American political life — presupposing that one administration and/or one congress can bind another.
46. If you believe That pharmaceutical companies must be strong-armed to forego profits in the name of lower prices for seniors, and that you can rely on the good faith of a man who casually asserts that “the big drug companies” are now “spending more money on advertising and promotion than they are on research and development.” Actually, a Kaiser Family Foundation study released in July reveals that the drug companies spent between $5.8 and $8.3 billion for advertising in 1998, versus $21 billion for research and development.
47. If you believe That what this world needs, in the words of Al Gore’s environmental manifesto “Earth in the Balance,” is “to establish a coordinated global program to accomplish the strategic goal of completely eliminating the internal combustion engine over, say, a 25 year period.”
48. If you believe That it is possible to commit American troops to every trouble spot around the world while simultaneously starving the military for funds.
49. If you believe That the creation of new federal programs to provide universal preschool, expand Medicare, provide prescription drugs to all of America’s elderly (Bush proposes to cover only the poor), provide universal health coverage for children, fund Technology for Tomorrow Challenge and scores of other proposed initiatives will neither increase the size of the federal government nor eat up the surplus.
50. If you believe That a man who routinely breaks even the rules of a debate format should be trusted when he assures us that throughout the campaign of 1996, he engaged in no illegal fund raising.
51. If you believe That President Clinton’s policies, standing alone, have led to “instead of the biggest deficits in history, we now have the biggest surpluses. ... Instead of quadrupling our national debt, we’ve seen the creation of 19 million new jobs. Instead of a deep recession and high unemployment, America now has our strongest economy in the history of the United States.”
52. If you believe Until a Republican Congress arm-wrestled him into accepting a balanced budget, President Clinton’s policies would have created deficits into the indefinite future. As to the recession of 1990/1991, it was quite mild (not, as Gore always says, “the double dip recession,” whatever that is, and the “worst recession since the Great Depression”). The recovery had begun before Clinton/Gore took office in January 1992.
53. If you believe That, once elected, N.E.A. Al would actually implement his proposal for testing new teachers.
54. If you believe That affirmative action does not mean quotas, merely attempts to provide opportunity where it has been lacking.
55. If you believe That Al and Tipper Gore have been consistent critics of Hollywood and the rock music industry, as the vice president boasted during the third debate. In fact, Gore dragged his wife to Hollywood in 1988 — the year he invented the Willie Horton issue, no he really did — and forced her to grovel before record company executives promising to cease her campaign for music ratings. He was running for president and wanted the industry’s financial support.
56. If you believe That Bill Clinton was “one of our greatest presidents.”
If you believe You’re not sophisticated enough to realize that “liberty” and “socialism” are mutually exclusive concepts.
58.IF You believe that Europe (even with its faulty currency, high unemployment, and economic stifling tax rates) is an example if the successful socialism, but ignore China, India, and the former USSR which account for almost 1/2 of the earth’s population.
59. If You support “choice”, as long as it has nothing to do with where your kids go to school, owning a firearm, deciding where your retirement money goes, or what doctor you go to see.
60. If You believe that every vote counts, except those from Republican dominated counties and from the military.
61. If You believe that children are expensive, but no matter how many children poor people choose to produce the poor are always victims of society and not their own bad choices.
62. If You believe in the communist theory of “redistribution of wealth”, but only if the government redistributes it.
63. If You don’t give much to charity, after all, why should you have to give up necessities like cable TV, cell phones, electronic gadgets, eating out, and air conditioning when there are people who have even more than you do?
64. If You believe the Bill of Rights actually has an amendment declaring the “right to privacy”.
65. If You believe that Social Security is not a risky pyramid scheme.
66.IF You believe oppression comes from business and prosperity comes from government.
67. If You believe that John Ashcroft is a horrible choice for a federal position because he is a religious man, but Joe LIEberman was a great choice for a federal position because he is a religious man.
68. If You don’t understand the basics of “supply and demand”.
69. If You believe that conservatives are racist, but quotas, social promotion, lower expectations, and set asides aren’t.
70. If Your arguments for supporting abortion are religious in nature because you know you’d be blown away if you made it a scientific argument.
71. If You believe “workfare” is the same as slavery.
72. Ifyou believe Self-esteem is more important than actually doing anything to earn it.
73. If You believe that Christians have no business being included in the umbrella of diversity.
74. Ifyou believe that Even though most Americans choose to eat a poor diet and choose not to exercise, you feel it is still the taxpayer’s responsibility to pay for their medical care.
75. If You believe Big Business is evil because it fills a demand the public is screaming for.
76. If You believe that the Bill Of Rights says “There is a separation of church and state” but not the actual line: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or PROHIBITING THE FREE EXERCISE THEREOF”.
77. If You believe that Santa decorations should be banned from public schools at Christmas due to religious issues, but don’t believe witch decorations should be banned from public schools at Halloween even though Wicca is a federally recognized religion.
78. Ifyou believe There was no art before federal funding.
79.IF You believe that drilling a piece of the enormous Alaskan preserve will be horrible for the environment, but hauling energy inefficient oil tankers from the Middle East (halfway across the planet) won’t have any negative impacts on the environment.
80. If You believe that in a free society doctors should be servants of the state.
81. If You believe that anyone who agrees with you is open minded and believe that anyone who disagrees with you is closed minded.
82. If You believe that the only reason communism hasn’t worked is because the right people haven’t been in charge yet.
83. If You feel that anyone who beats you in an intellectual argument is a bigot.
84. At the most basic level, the liberal is an adolescent forever in search of a world without moral consequence.
85. Ifyou believe Freedom from moral consequence can only be secured by a collectivist, totalitarian state.
86. Ifyou believe The liberal religion reveres the twin gods of genitals and government, and is overseen by a priesthood of psychologists.
87. Ifyou believe “Freedom” to the liberal is strictly freedom of the genitals.
88. Ifyou believe All non-sexual individual freedoms are despised by the liberal because they demand moral responsibility.
89. Ifyou believe The fundamental power struggle of the liberal is individual v. collective. The individual must be relieved of all power in favor of the collective.
90. Ifyou believe Individualism demands moral responsibility. Collectivism hopes to eliminate the need for moral responsibility.
91. Ifyou believe he U.S. Constitution - specifically the individualistic Bill of Rights - is the enemy of the liberal.
92. Ifyou believe The liberal despises the United States because it is the premier guarantor and promoter of individualism in the world.
93. Ifyou believe All institutions and concerns - schools, environment, courts, etc. - serve no relevant purpose other than the promotion of collectivism.
94. Ifyou believe Abortion is necessary to guarantee genital freedom and eliminate moral consequence.
95. Ifyou believe The basis of psychology is the elimination of moral responsibility.
96. Ifyou believe The liberal must create an atmosphere of crisis and fear to justify collectivist oppression.
97. Ifyou believe Any religious person who believes or promotes moral consequence is the enemy of the liberal and must be oppressed.
98. Ifyou believe Despite decades of spectacular failure, the liberal clings to the collectivist dream because it is far more than a theory of government. It is a religion.
99. Ifyou believe The liberal seeks to dominate any institution which can weaken or destroy individual parental rights - public schools, child abuse agencies, pediatric associations, etc..
100. Ifyou believe The liberal applauds the imprisoning of home schooling parents who dare to raise their children outside the control of collectivist public schools.
101. Ifyou believe Private ownership of guns is the single greatest symbol of individual power, and therefore despised.
102. Ifyou believe All individual freedoms demand the responsible behaviour of the individual, and therefore demand a moral code. Liberals despise freedom because they despise morality.
103. Ifyou believe The liberal loves Bill Clinton because of who he is, not in spite of who he is.
104. Ifyou believe The liberal despises national sovereignty which protects individual freedoms.
105. Ifyou believe The liberal promotes international governments (UN, EU, etc.) which seek to destroy individualism protected by sovereign states.
106. Ifyou believe The liberal fears any hint of individualism in any part of the world, and is obsessed with the centralized control of all human activity and thought.
107. Ifyou believe “Multi-culturalism” is the code world for a single, oppressive, collectivist culture.
108. Ifyou believe Liberals speak often of tolerance, but only tolerate liberals.
109. Ifyou believe The liberal seeks to criminalize any speech which promotes morality or individualism as “hate speech”.
110. Environmentalists lie as a matter of course.
111. The liberal’s only method of debate is to insult and discredit anyone who dares to disagree.
112. When possible, liberals opress anyone who questions their beliefs.
113. Liberals despise all innocence - especially the innocence of a child.
114. Liberals seek the sexualization of children and the normalization of pedophilia, all in the pursuit of genital freedom.
115. In the liberal mind, your freedom is their oppression.
116. Private property and individual wealth is integral to individualism, and the enemy of the liberal.
117. The liberal hates you.
118. The liberal seeks to replace a moral world view with an emotional world
view.
119. The liberal typically chooses a career which produces nothing of value - lawyer, bureaucrat, “activist”, etc. - and uses government to extract the wealth of others.
120. Liberal programs enrich liberals and do little to help the poor.
121. The liberal despises masculinity as a symbol of individual power.
122. Feminists groups are about lesbianism and socialism, not equal rights for women.
123. Liberals are perfectly willing to destroy you financially, remove your children, and imprison you for what you believe.
124. Liberals fear technology and change - because neither can be centrally controlled.
125. Liberals are not obsessed with sex, but with promiscuity. Promiscuity is the dominate theme of the liberal media culture.
126. Liberals despise the suburbs as a manifestation of individual prosperity, private property ownership, and the family.
127. Liberals despise marriage and family because they are institutions which frown on promiscuity.
128. Liberals despise the automobile as a symbol of individual freedom and power.
129. Liberals seek to control public schools, and force all children into them, in order to foster promiscuity and collectivist ideology in children.
130. Other diseases kill millions more, but liberals are obsessed with Aids because it is a moral consequence of promiscuity.
131. Liberals are more committed than conservatives because their politics is also their religion.
132. Liberal activities are all about ego - to demonstrate “I care more than you do” without really helping anyone.
133. Whenever a liberal expresses concern “for the children”, they are using and targeting children to expand promiscuity, collectivism, and their own pocketbooks and egos.
134. Because collectivist politics is their only morality, liberals have no problem with deceit, oppression, or violence in their pursuit of collectivism.
135. Liberals are elitists who exempt themselves from the oppressive rules they impose on the general population.
136. Liberals howl if a transvestite or convicted felon is even slightly offended, but openly bash Christians.
137. Liberals dream of a return to a centralized, 1940’s urban environment. We all ride the bus from a small, dirty, big city apartment to an 8-5 union job.
138. Liberals believe that wealth is static - anyone who makes money must be stealing it from someone else.
139. Liberals claim to be against violence, but makes excuses for liberals like Castro who torture political dissidents.
140. Liberals have enormous compassion for criminal predators, but little for the victims.
141. Animal Rights activists despise humanity.
142. Liberals believe that passing religious values to children is a form of child abuse.
143. Liberals use moralistic tones and catch-phrases like “social justice”, but their only moral is the accumulation of power
144. Liberals ideologies tend inevitably towards world-wide totalitarianism.
145. Liberals are never satisfied with the power they have gained over the lives of individuals - they must control every thought and detail of human activity.
146. In the liberal world, all problems stem from individualism, and all solutions are collective.
147. Liberals are humourless bores.
148. If You believe that militia groups are more of a threat to your safety than inner-city gangs.
149. If You believe that if all guns were banned, crime would disappear.
150. If You believe that criminals will flock to gun buy back programs to turn in their guns.
151. If You believe that if the government funded one less military helicopter that thousands of starving childrenwould be fed.
152. If You believe that the government should have more control over the lives of people.
153. If You believe that Pat Schroeder, Diane Feinstein, Charles Schumer, Howard Metzenbaum, Arlen Spector etc.etc. are actually working for your best interests.
154. If You see nothing wrong with tens of thousands of communist bloc tanks and special purpose military vehiclesbeing stationed in our country. (If you even know they are there)
155. If You believe that Socialism/Communism can work and has just gotten some bad publicity, or hasn’t beenproperly implemented, or hasn’t been given a real chance, or ...
156. If You believe that the Bible is racist, sexist and homophobic.
157. If You believe that “it takes a village to raise a child”.
158. If You believe that the members of Randy Weaver’s family were dangerous criminals with an arsenal.
159. If You believe that the mainstream media is too conservative.
160. If You believe that most of our health care problems would be solved if the government would increase taxesand take over the health care industry.
161. If You would vote for Hillary Clinton.
162. If You believe that all hell would break loose if it were not for U.N. “Peacekeepers”.
163. If You don’t think it’s “fair” for some people to have bigger houses than others.
164. If You believe that law enforcement should be federalized, and should forcibly enter homes and confiscate guns.
165. If You believe that Christianity is harmful, but you’re completely open-minded to allowing your children to beexposed to Buddhism, Taoism, witchcraft, etc..
166. If You believe that the government has been honest with us concerning POW’s and MIA’s.
167. If You believe that the government has been honest with us concerning Gulf War Illness. \
168. If You believe that the President and his wife are telling the truth about Whitewater, Travelgate, Vincent Foster’sfiles, the FBI files, etc. etc.
169. If You want to outlaw tobacco, but legalize marijuana.
170. If You believe that adult white males are racist, sexist and homophobic.
171. If You believe that it is impossible for a black person to be a racist.
172. If You believe that it is impossible for a woman to be a sexist.
173. If You believe that television talk shows make meaningful and important contributions to society.
174. If You believe that everything will work out if we just think positively.
175. If You believe that it’s the government who grants us our rights.
176. If You believe that a public school “education” is superior to that of one who was home schooled.
177. If You believe the Multi-Jurisdictional Task Force had to incinerate the children at the Branch Davidian Church”in order to save them”.
178. If You believe you can survive an encounter in your home with an armed attacker by dialing 911.
179. If You believe that handing out condoms to school children will decrease pregnancies.
180. If You believe that a Federal Reserve Note is lawful “money”.
181. If You believe all that you see on the television news.
182. If You believe that Americans have always paid income taxes, and you see nothing wrong with the graduated income tax being one of the ten steps to destroy a free country, as outlined in the Communist Manifesto.
183. If You believe that there is too much freedom and that we should surrender some of our rights so that the government can make it more “safe” for us.
184. If You don’t view people as individuals, but rather as members of a group.
185. If You equate patriotism with terrorism.
186. If You Believe that the First Amendment guarantees freedom from religion.
187. If You believe that minorities can’t succeed on their own, and must have “help”.
188. If You believe that Jane Fonda has contributed more towards world peace than Pee-Wee Herman.
189. If You believe that 2+2=4, or 5, or 7, as long as the child’s feelings are not hurt.
190. If You believe that the United States policy to have no Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Defense whatsoeverhelps to keep your children safe.
191. If You find it acceptable for an avowed communist and former head of the Soviet Union to be in charge of supervising the disarming of America’s defensive capabilities.
192. If You believe That the failure of any government program is proof it needs funding;
193. If You believe That Bill Gates symbolizes what is wrong with America;
194. If You believe That the Communist Chinese expected nothing in return for their contributions to the 1996 Clinton-Gore campaign;
195. If You believe That the Ten Commandments are judgmental and, consequently, Dangerous for our children to learn in school;
196. If You believe That, in the spirit of inclusion, our armed forces should welcome Gay soldiers into their shower stalls;
197. If You believe That the problem of gun violence will be solved as soon as law-abiding citizens are forced to disarm;
198. If You believe That I prove my compassion and generosity when I support tax Increases on anyone who is richer than I;
199. If You believe That Republicans are evil, except Republican union members whose Wagesare confiscated for the purpose of funding democratic campaigns;
200. If You believe That Bill Clinton was correct when he vetoed welfare reform, correct When he vetoed it again and correct when he proudly signed it into law;
201. If You believe That Bob Jones is a religious bigot with dangerous ideas when his Faith dictates white Christians should marry only white Christians but that Joe Lieberman is a good man with deeply held religious principles when His faith dictates orthodox Jews should marry only orthodox Jews;
202. If You believe That a thousand FBI files on prominent Republicans arrived at the White House as a result of an innocent bureaucratic snafu under the watch Of a former bar bouncer who became head of White House security and no one knows who hired him;
203. If You believe That Joe Camel brainwashed kids into smoking cigarettes but that Hollywood’s sex and violence do not influence them;
204. If You believe That we support more gun laws and fewer convictions;
205. If You believe That media reports on the homeless are newsworthy unless a Democrat Is in the White House;
206. If You believe That the timing of the American bombing of a Sudanese pharmaceutical Plant on the day of Monica Lewinsky’s testimony was purely coincidental;
207. If You believe That everyone deserves equal rights, except white males;
208. If You believe That we should march in favor of partial birth abortions and against The execution of child murderers;
209. If You believe That we support the Constitution’s unwritten right to privacy but Not its written right to bear arms;
210. If You believe That taxpayer dollars should never fund religious art except for art That denigrates Christianity;
211. If You believe That only a risky Republican scheme would propose changes for high Schools that graduate students who can’t read their diplomas;
212. If You believe That Al Gore invented the Internet and Hillary Clinton is a Brilliant cattle futures speculator;
213. If You believe That every government program is essential and under funded;
214. If You believe That minorities deserve high positions in government except when They are conservative;
215. If You believe That Bill Clinton has never forced himself upon a woman unless there Is DNA evidence to prove it;
216. If You believe That we don’t need to worry about records being set for the trade deficit, personal bankruptcies and minorities in prison until a Republican is in the White House;
217. If You believe That, for every Clinton scandal, Republicans were guilty of “rushing To judgment” prior to proving wrongdoing and guilty of “dredging up old news” after proof was established;
218. If You believe That thou shall not judge, unless it is for the purpose of exposing conservative white males as angry, gun-toting rednecks and conservative blacks as back-stabbing charlatans;
219. If You believe That the administration created our nation’s economic prosperity Even if we can’t name the Clinton-Gore proposals that caused it;
220. If You believe That big companies, which succeed in a free market by routinely Offering the best product or service at the lowest price, shouldn’t be trusted, and that big government, which can confiscate and redistribute its citizen’s wealth and imprison them if they don’t cooperate, should be trusted implicitly;
221. If You believe That Al Gore discovered Love Canal and was the hero of “Love Story”;
222. If You believe That we have no reason to suspect espionage occurred when hard Drives containing our most valuable nuclear secrets were missing from the Los Alamos laboratory;
223. If You believe That we should be outraged by the partial birth abortion of any Animal except a human;
224. If You believe That the failure of 22,000 gun laws to prevent gun violence is proof That more gun laws are needed;
225. If You believe That Clarence Thomas is unfit for office but Bill Clinton is not;
226. If You believe That if our children aren’t taught sex in school, they’ll never find Out about it;
227. If You believe That anyone who supports school vouchers, the strategic defense initiative, parental notification for abortion and privatization of social security is a right-wing kook, unless his name is Joe Lieberman;
228. If You believe That George W. Bush’s degrees from Harvard and Yale do not change The fact that he is an idiot, but Al Gore’s failing out of Vanderbilt is no reflection on his mentality;
229. If You believe That the only reason Socialism has never succeeded is because the Wrong people have been in charge;
230. If You believe And so, let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend And foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of donkeys