Yet another indication of someone over obsessed with sex.
Is there no other issue you wish to spend this much mental energy on? If you are over the age of 17, then maybe there should be. They used to call sundry obsessions like this ‘Navel Gazing’. Stop “Counting Angels” presumed to be living on heads of pins, and make a real friend or two in real life. There is always church or writing a book.
Learn Greek, become an HVAC technician, train for a marathon ...