Gather my Children for a Parable on the Popular Vote (now with paragraphs)

[Treeless Branch]

Gather around my brothers and sisters for a parable about the popular vote in a U.S. presidential election. The popular vote in a U.S. presidential election is like an NFL Super Bowl game. One team, which has played in the last four Super Bowls, is a 28 point favorite by Las Vegas to soundly defeat the underdog, which has never even made the playoffs before. The favorite has a payroll of superstar players that dwarves the salaries paid to the underdog's.

Come halftime of this game, however, the underdog is actually winning 21-20 despite the favorite out-gaining the underdog by 100 yards: 300-200. You see, the favorite has turned it over four times, creating a short field for the underdog resulting in two easy touchdowns. The underdog is also using a bend but don't break defense, almost appearing to allow the favorite to move the ball at will between the 20s before tightening up in the red zone. The favorite is flustered, it's starters are getting tired and frustrated. The underdog returns a pick six, 100 yard interception from the end zone for a touchdown right before the half to take the lead.

The second half goes even better for the underdog. The favorite continues to shoot itself in the foot. Its vaunted ground game has ground to a halt. It's committing obvious personal fouls in a desperate effort to prevail. The referees (like the game's TV broadcasters), appearing to be biased for the favorite, refuse to acknowledge its repeated rule breaking.

Late in the third quarter, the dam finally breaks, and the underdog pulls away, moving the ball at will on offense and scoring three more touchdowns on each of its next three possessions. With the game already out of reach, the favorite throws two Hail Mary bombs on its last two possessions in the fourth quarter, each time to the underdog's one yard line. The first remarkably results in a drive killing fumble and the second results in a meaningless touchdown that cuts the deficit to 15 points as time expires. The two Hail Mary's, thrown against the underdog's third string defense, result in the favorite actually out-gaining the underdog in total yards for the game 500-490 but still losing the game in a one-sided affair, that in hindsight was never even close, 42-27. Had the referees called the obvious penalties against the favorite, and those penalty yards been subtracted from the favorite's total yardage, the underdog would have easily out-gained the favorite 490-450.

After the contest ends, the losing coach is so demoralized and shocked that he refuses to take part in the required post-game press conference. It's not until the next day that he finally appears before the press, not to take questions, but to brazenly inform the sports world that his team actually won the game because it gained more total yards than the underdog despite losing by 15 points. He ignores the fact that no game in the history of football has ever been decided that way. He also ignores the fact that had the teams decided BEFORE the game started to determine the winner by yards gained, instead of points scored, THAT THE UNDERDOG'S IN-GAME STRATEGY WOULD HAVE BEEN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. For instance, the underdog's coach would have had his team go for it on each fourth down in an effort to pick up at least one more yard - even if it meant turning the ball over and giving the favorite great field position.

Next, the underdog's coach is asked to comment on the loser's unprecedented move to be declared the winner based on a statistic that has never been used before to determine a game's outcome. In a quiet confidence, also exhibited by his players throughout the entire game, he slowly raises his hand, before pointing off into the distance. And with a cocky smirk, reflecting the hard fought and strategically brilliant win, one truly for the history books, he responds, "Scoreboard, b*tches."

[Treeless Branch]

With paragraphs.

[randita]

Another good sports analogy is the MLB World Series. You must win four of seven games. The total number of runs for each team at the conclusion of the series is irrelevant. The team that lost the series has sometimes scored more total runs than the winner.

The election is played to win the Electoral College, not the popular vote. Trying to change the rules in hindsight is akin to changing the World Series rules afterward so that the team that scored the most runs in the series wins.