RIP...
Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: You're a vicious man.
Michael Garibaldi: I'm Head of Security. It's in the job description.
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Michael Garibaldi: I'm an eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth kind of guy.
Delenn: So you support a system that would leave everyone blind and toothless.
Michael Garibaldi: Not everyone. Just the bad guys.
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Merchant: I don't give out names. It's bad for business.
Michael Garibaldi: Yeah well so is having your eyeballs spooned out and served on toast. Now make up your mind and make it up fast because it's getting awfully close to my breakfast time.
My favorite Garibaldi quote is when, in “Severed Dreams”, he tries to set up a strong defensive position, and the dang Narn allies just rush past him to meet the invaders head-on, which is (mostly) suicide*: The situation certainly could generate profanity, in “real life”, which (at least moderate examples) were occasionally “ok” on B5. But Garibaldi yells “Awwwww...NUTS!!” The line is delivered so well, profanity would just detract from it...
Other great Garibaldi exchanges with characters on B5:
Londo: Just now, would you really have killed me?
Garibaldi: Yes. Yes, I would have. But I’m just as glad I didn’t have to. The paperwork’s a pain in the butt.
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Londo Mollari: [arguing with Garibaldi] We made a mistake, I’m sorry. Here, open my wrists. [offers Garibaldi his wrists]
Michael Garibaldi: Centauri don’t have major arteries in their wrists.
Londo: Of course not! What, do you think I am stupid?
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Walker Smith: Any ideas on how I should fight this guy?
Michael Garibaldi: From inside a Main Battle Tank would be nice.
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[Garibaldi enters the casino to find an angry, inebriated Ivanova mopping the floor with the patrons.]
Ivanova: Are you gonna arrest me, Garibaldi?
Garibaldi: No way! I wanna live to see the future.
***
[Garibaldi and a security officer are breaking in to a post office storage room.]
Michael Garibaldi: What are you so nervous about? We went up against the entire Earth Alliance and two carrier groups.
Security Officer: Yeah, but this is the post office. This could get us in real trouble.
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Garibaldi: After what we’ve been through with your people, Sheridan was crazy to send our pilots out to fight for your ship! They didn’t want to go, they didn’t want to get blown out of the sky and leave B5 defenseless, and they sure as hell didn’t want to die! But they did it because Sheridan told them to do it and because it was right!
G’Kar: This time it is possible he could be wrong.
Garibaldi: Yeah, it’s possible. But you don’t follow an order because you know for sure it’s gonna work out! You do what you’re told! Because your CO has the moral authority that says, “You may not come back! But the cause is just and fair and necessary!” That’s why Sheridan is out there, and damn it, that’s where that cruiser should be, too! It’s not Na’Kal’s decision, G’Kar. He doesn’t see the big picture—you do! So in MY book, and YOUR book (forcefully pushes back into G’Kar’s hands the copy of the Narn “bible” that G’Kar loaned to Garibaldi), that makes it your responsibility! Deal with it!
***