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If I were to tell you all about my week you’d think I was making it up.

Let us start sort of mellow. Then it gets real bad…..real baaaaaad.

But I am going to survive so do not read for fear of very sad ending. Odd and strange, but it will be over someday.

I went to “try out” to be a Cantor. Aw man I was so full of myself, insert smile and a wink here, thinking I got some kind of weird contralto voice that the parishioners will love.

So they fired our Music Director and the new one called us all in to get a grip on how we sound, our strengths, volume….that kind of thing.

Folks, it was….well it was sad….very sad. Oh my Music Director told me I did fine, that I had “potential”, that she wanted me to practice here, practice there.

Man, you know when you are singing, you know when you sound bad. I won’t say I sounded bad, exactly, I have an okay voice, can carry tune with a bucket. But I changed keys all the hell over the place….

Good sport that I am, after that first practice I immediately wrote an email and resigned from any thoughts of being a Cantor. Man I was scared out of my mind just me, the Music Director and me with the organ, alone in the church. I was shaking like a leaf in a wind storm. What the hell was I thinking I could stand up there and sing, loud and bright just like Adele, to five hundred people.

Yes I am still in the choir, I am not THAT bad. Also I might be singing tenor or bass as Music Director does agree my range is very “unique”.

“But you’re not a solo singer,” she said, kindly. I always say that. So I guess I won’t be singing “Frozen” any time soon.

We move on to the horror story. Absolute horror.

Y’all know my daughter has Munchaussen, a mental disorder that has people putting ticks on themselves to get Lyme disease, sticking pencils in their throat to get Strep.

Since I have STUPIDLY bought her a house, her, her husband, her daughter…my granddaughter….for the last three years it’s been a nightmare. First she gets restraining order on husband for no reason at all. Sure he had issues but she’d been married to the man for twelve years and while he had issues with working, he never abused her and is a damn good father to my granddaughter.

She got the restraining order and tortured him for a year and a half. He fought like the dickens to get visitation with his daughter and she did all kind of silly stuff.

As for the hospital, dear Lord since she’s moved here three years she’s been the hospital almost half of that time. INDEED people, this daughter of mine has cost YOU over ten MILLION DOLLARS FOR HER FAKERY, I got all the dates and times. She gets everything for free, rides to the doctors. Meanwhile she would take my Jeep to go to Baltimore’s famous mental bin, Shepherd Pratt….which I call Shepherd Pratt Pool and Spa. I gave it to her cause she threatened suicide. She’s threatened suicide some 87 times, with hospital admissions….I got it all documented.

So then she gets a restraining order on ME. Sets me up, blindsides me…..damn it’s the saddest story. This after I bought her a house, took care of her dogs for five straight weeks, fixed her and her daughter dinner EVERY night, paid many of her bills….she only gets $617 a month, another cost you pay people cause there ain’t a damn thing wrong with her. She did work for three days but in a chicken factory and quit cause it smelled like shit.

THEN….no I’m not done….she lost her daughter. Which my son-in-law managed to get custody after paying almost ten grand for a lawyer while she got all her legal help free.

Recently I posted about how she went into the loony bin, and for the THIRD time she left her dog all alone in that house. ME, even my friend Diane Feinstein, heard that dog barking. The last time she left the dog the house was filled with fleas….two dogs she left, mother and daughter. Those dogs suffered, they suffered. She left them all alone for three weeks and they had no escape from the fleas and obviously the house was a wreck. Which me and Diane Feinstein cleaned up.

So she comes home with a break from the loony bin, no daughter….lost custody. Son-in-law gave mother dog back to daughter because he couldn’t keep her. Daughter promised to keep her.

Of course she back to loony bin and leaves dog AGAIN. This time, since the key I had wouldn’t work….she used the upper lock on the door, intentionally I think, so I couldn’t get in. So son-in-law broke window and we got the dog. She calls cops on me, they come over to my house, tell me to fix window….yada, ydada.

Last week I knew something was wrong. No activity around the house.

SHE REMOVED ALL OF THE APPLIANCES!!!!!!!!

The washing machine, the dryer, the DISHWASHER, the refrigerator….ALL GONE!

And they were nice appliances.

I hear she’s living as a “squatter” in a mental help facility, whatever that means.

See, she wants me to sell the house. It’s half in my name, half in hers. She can’t sell without me. Now I can’t rent it out without putting in money, I can’t let son-in-law, granddaughter….et all to move in, again….she’d find a way to torment.

And I know I’m sitting here typing and yon reader probably wonders why I do this in public. Well she called the radio station on me, was on the air for a half an hour, accusing me of killing my husband….she may be my child but she’s as addicted to hospitals, attention and sympathy worse than any heroin addict is to that drug.

Sold all the appliances.

I’m devastated.

Anyway, I have no choice. I have to go on. Oh, and she turned off the electricity in that house.

A horrible, horrible person. And yeah, I wrote a book about it cause it was almost this bizarre when she was a teenager. Husband and I used to find piles of burned paper in closets where she tried to burn down the house. And much more….much more….which is why I wrote the book.

But I’m still watching politics and it helps. But my legs are wobbly from this horror.

{{{{{FISH}}}}}