The message of the gospels is "death to self" -- renunciation of the urgings of the flesh in favor of following the teachings. ("Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."-- Matthew 16:24) This doesn't mean you will never have fulfillment in life. It does, however, take the emphasis off pleasing the self and put it on pleasing God. Great growth in the spirit takes place this way. "Taking up one's cross" indicates that it won't always be easy to grapple with one's passions. No pain, no gain.
Second, Jesus told his followers they must be willing to love him more than any compelling earthly tie, including parents, property or position. ("If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple.-- Luke 14:26) I don't know the original Greek, but I don't think "hate" here means rancor, since the Commandments already set that aside. It means a willingness to transcend these strong ties for the even greater call of the Lord.
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