Jeb's Six-Step Strategy to Salvage His Campaign

Legal Insurrection ^ | 1/2/16 | Fuzzy Slippers

[who_would_fardels_bear]

1. Read Adam Smith, Burke, Chesterton, Belloc, Kirk, etc.
2. Come to the conclusion that they were right.
3. Modify his platform to conform to the correct way of thinking.
4. Disavow all of his earlier positions.
5. Courageously and effectively express his newfound wisdom.
6. Reveal any secrets he knows as a member of the Bush fiefdom that will annihilate the Clintons.

[Recovering Ex-hippie]

ha.Jeb has a strategy.

who cares?ha.

[Colorado Doug]

5. Hold breath while standing on tippy toes

[catnipman]

How about these six steps:

1. Remind the conservative base why he doesn’t need their votes.

2. Remind us that he has ‘a lot of cool things’ he’d rather be doing instead of running for president.

3. Stand on his tippy toes more often.

4. Pick his nose less often.

5. Get it off your chest and call Donald Trump a jerk again in a whiny voice.

6. Continue focusing on your cat fights with all of the various third-tier candidates.

7. Remind people that: “I’m the tortoise in the race. But I’m a joyful tortoise.”

8. Remind people that: “I feel much better back here” in fifth place polling single digits than I did as frontrunner.

9. And for God’s sake lower the price of those damn Guaca Bowles on your website and quit teasing us about your guacamole recipe and just publish the damn thing!

(OK, I know that’s more than six steps, but I wanted to give Jeb Bush all the help I could by adding some extra steps.)

[SunkenCiv]

In a tutu.

[maxwellsmart_agent]

His liberal choices in Florida are the reason he can’t get any traction in his campaign. He might as well just quit.

[generally]

To me, Jeb is like a bowl of tapioca pudding. Bland, likable to many people, but not what I want for President.

Read my lips: No new Bushes.

[irv]

A strategy. How very optimistic. Has anyone mentioned to him that the war isn’t the one he thinks it is?

[tophat9000]

Jeb new campaign song should be “Gimme Three Steps”....

[Peter ODonnell]

Didn’t read the details, which step is Mass Extinction of all other Republicans?

[bkopto]

[Jim W N]

...and step 7...

Quit.

[Stanwood_Dave]

"One would think that self respect alone would prompt this man to withdraw from the race."

There's a difference between self respect & stupidity . It involves just how much money is still remaining in the campaign fund(s.)

Just think about the people that thought by giving millions to this walking / talking piece of human debris, how much "influence" they were going to have.

Like Mr. T, use to say "I pity the fool(s)"

May 23, 2009 ... "I pity the fool!" Clubber Lang (played by Mr. T) when asked about Rocky Balboa before their rematch. Quoted on ESPN's Around the Horn.

[VictoryGal]

Yeb! What a pic.

I know, right? The "smart one". Reminds me of the idiot inbred monarch Charles II of Spain. Separated at birth?

[Theodore R.]

Jebbie thought the Republican base was too dumb to know what he said about not needing the backing of the base.

[CPT Clay]

Keep him alive long enough to split the GOPe vote til Florida.

[CPT Clay]

Is that gunpowder by any chance?

[Cicero]

Add in some sulfur instead of zinc, and you could make old-fashioned black powder out of it. I used to do that when I was a kid, many years go.