Posted on 10/01/2015 5:59:43 AM PDT by 1010RD
Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle...
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Maybe a modern gay man.
5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.
OK, this one I agree with enough to note. Just park. A little extra walking is good for you.
6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.
No. Teaches them responsibility if/when they forget.
7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
Bzzzt. You're not a programmer.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.
Ok, this list obviously was compiled by a gay man. Not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing, just making an observation.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.
Who or what the {xxxx} is Wu-Tang?
17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?
Yep, gay.
18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.
For about 2 seconds, then rejected the idea...
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.
So very gay. Again, not good or bad...just...gay.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
Wrong.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
Wrong again. It may be ok for a little extra moisture at the end of Armageddon when Bruce Willis sacrifices himself for his daughter (and all of mankind) but... Often? No.
Sneering contempt is an emotion ...
I’ve still got two BIG TANG glass bottles I bought back in 1968! Now they come in a small wimpy little plastic container.
Hilarious! Obviously written by No-Balls Man™, the metro-homo-wuss of the east, whose empty sac wafts like tissue paper in the smallest of breezes. And I say one needs not own any more guns than one can stagger about carrying at a given time. [J/K, seeing if y’all are paying attention!]
"If I'm going to die for a word, then my word is poon-tang." ;-)
One the one hand it says that the man should sleep closest to the bedroom door to fight off any intruders, but it goes on to say that a man will never own a gun because he has no use for one.
And what man has ever even contemplated buying shoes for his wife?
This article reeks of “child of divorce who did not have a male role model growing up”.
On display is the utter dissolution and implosion of our entire culture, writ small.
Satire. Right? Cannot possibly be serious. [hoping]
How will he accomplish 16 if he does 25? Just curious...will he reason w/ the intruder? WIll he sacrifice himself hoping his wife is a quick runner/jumper? So many questions....LOL
That was painful to read. Can you imagine the sniveling little pansy who would result from that conglomeration of characteristics?
I think you meant Zeta male. The Beta at least aspires to Alpha and will fight Alpha for it. This schmuck is down there at the bottom of the maleness heap.
And Linda is having an affair with a guy who does none of these things.
He’s buying shoes for a man. Get with the program.
Is the author of this piece gay?
Be all ewe can be.Just strap on a man-gina and get it over with.
AMERICA'S NEW HERO
looks like they're showing us what their ideal version of the new sodomite should look like. I'm guessing it matches the image that sodomite members of Congress that are NAMBLA members would approve of.
I think Brian Lombardi is describing Brian Lombardi!
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