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27 Ways to Be a Modern Man (You Will Barf Alert)
NY Times ^ | 9/29/15 | BRIAN LOMBARDI

Posted on 10/01/2015 5:59:43 AM PDT by 1010RD

Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle...

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: metrosexualmale; newyorkslimes
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To: Iron Munro
“What the hell is Wu-Tang?” According to GOOGLE it’s a Rap / Hip Hop group.
I was thinking it might be what Chinese astronauts drink for breakfast.
141 posted on 10/01/2015 8:17:51 AM PDT by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: VanShuyten
“Brian Lombardi lives in DeKalb, Ill., with his wife, Linda, and their three children.”

I hope she has a well-cushioned place in her purse where she carries his gonads. He obviously only has occasional use for them.

142 posted on 10/01/2015 8:18:25 AM PDT by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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To: 1010RD
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

I don't know about "often", but I came very close to being a blubbering fool in public last night. Had to turn around and stare at a brick wall until I got it together.

Watched my youngest son march down the street for the homecoming parade. He was wearing his junior ROTC uniform for the first time, marching with his high school unit. Made me glad for small town America, and some things for which we still stand.

143 posted on 10/01/2015 8:20:33 AM PDT by Rinnwald
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To: 1010RD

Brian Lombardi has a vagina. It’s the only way to explain this.


144 posted on 10/01/2015 8:21:19 AM PDT by RinaseaofDs
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To: 1010RD

Sounds like a real loser if you ask me. Thank goodness i married and raised non-modern men.


145 posted on 10/01/2015 8:26:57 AM PDT by KosmicKitty (Liberals claim to want to hear other views, but then are shocked to discover there are other views)
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To: 1010RD

Pajama Boy?


146 posted on 10/01/2015 8:31:07 AM PDT by Twinkie (John 3:16)
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To: I want the USA back

I fail them all. What the hell is Wu-Tang?

I failed too but do know that “Poo-Tang” is Wu-Tang’s sister.


147 posted on 10/01/2015 8:44:38 AM PDT by Towed_Jumper (There were no muslims on the Mayflower)
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To: Iron Munro

I think Buckwheat smoked dope to their tunes..... :-)

And now it shows!!!


148 posted on 10/01/2015 8:45:13 AM PDT by JEDI4S (I don't mean to cause trouble...it just happens naturally through the Force!)
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To: 1010RD
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

On the one hand, I really do hate the 'real men don't cry' cliche. Personally, I find the attempt to suppress grief to be immature and faux-masculine. You want to be masculine, that means that you need to acknowledge that you happen to have feelings as well.

On the other hand, there's a big difference between acknowledging and expressing your emotions and letting them control you.

149 posted on 10/01/2015 8:46:18 AM PDT by Luircin
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

I think the ingredients in the bottle are plastic too!

:-)


150 posted on 10/01/2015 8:46:47 AM PDT by JEDI4S (I don't mean to cause trouble...it just happens naturally through the Force!)
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To: 1010RD

It’s October 1, not April 1!


151 posted on 10/01/2015 8:48:02 AM PDT by Read Write Repeat (Not one convinced me they want the job yet)
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To: 1010RD

The author of this repeatedly misspells gay.


152 posted on 10/01/2015 8:49:40 AM PDT by magellan
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To: jsanders2001

“This is the “pic” of the “Modern Man” that accompanied that article:”

“Nothing but a bunch of slack-jawed faggots!” (Sgt. Blaine, Predator)


153 posted on 10/01/2015 8:59:03 AM PDT by Towed_Jumper (There were no muslims on the Mayflower)
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To: Dr. Sivana

BRIAN LOMBARDI is a disgrace to the Lombardi name.


154 posted on 10/01/2015 9:25:22 AM PDT by wjr123
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To: Dr. Sivana

BRIAN LOMBARDI is a disgrace to the Lombardi name.


155 posted on 10/01/2015 9:28:34 AM PDT by wjr123
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

Just a wild guess here, but I’ll bet you still have both testicles, too. :-)


156 posted on 10/01/2015 9:33:47 AM PDT by rhoda_penmark
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To: 1010RD

I’m sure glad modern men didn’t storm the beaches of Normandy.


157 posted on 10/01/2015 9:37:59 AM PDT by I Hired Craig Livingstone (DT16. Deal with it.)
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To: odawg

The modern man cries. He cries often.

The list neglected to state that the modern man also wets the bed..and is not ashamed to admit it.


158 posted on 10/01/2015 9:50:37 AM PDT by AFret.
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To: 1010RD
I feel sorry for my niece. If she marries a “modern man” she'll be marrying herself, minus all that crying.
159 posted on 10/01/2015 9:53:51 AM PDT by Chgogal (Obama "hung the SEALs out to dry, basically exposed them like a set of dog balls..." CMH)
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To: 1010RD

Wow. Anyone who has to refer to a limp-wristed urban scribbler for a definition of “man”, isn’t. And by the way, if the dishes are in the rack they are “put away”. And if a modern man has no need of a gun, what’s he supposed to kill commies with, hairspray and a cigarette lighter?


160 posted on 10/01/2015 10:30:41 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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