Air drop him. From a couple hundred feet.
You ever used a Jetski to catch a big one?
I ate sand and dang near drowned and that was just body surfing
These old bones couldn't handle getting rag dolled & held down like those strap-in fools do.
I like your idea for the sh*tbag punk with one caveat - that we draw straws to see who gets to stand on the shore with our weapon of choice to make certain he doesn't get past the fish.