Speaking of Diane Feiinstein....my friend Pat, who I often said looks exactly like Diane Feinstein, was here the other day. I called up pictues of Diane F. and showed her.
She said she thought Diane Feinstein was pretty and she thanked me for thinking she was pretty too.
Or something.
So I went to a county GOP event, hosted by the former Chair of the Sussex GOP and former Sussex county campaign manager for Christine O’Donnell.
Guy has eleven kids and his wife was Delaware’s mother of the year last year.
So I went by myself because....well who else I got to go with? And THIS is part of the problem, more on this later.
So since I envision myself as the people’s scribe or some sort, as I drove I prayed that I be quiet and LISTEN to people, that I work the room, that I pre-think everything I say.
So I’m in the kitchen of this event, meeting the mother of the year, who I only knew vaguely. Sweetest woman on the planet, home-schooled her kids....man I felt blessed to be with these people. Her children were all about, preparing food and stuff.
I am inquiring about who is this and whose grandchildren are these? Man there were kids and babies all about and don’t forget this woman had 11 kids and there were sons-in-law. I am terrible at names but I did my best.
Over at the sink is another daughter, mother of two adorable little girls and one baby languishing in the baby chair. She LOOKED to me like she was pregnant but the voice in my head told me NOT to mention this possible pregnancy because it wasn’t all that obvious.
Because the WORST thing a woman can do to another....besides taking her man which I did not do....is mention her pregnancy if she’s NOT pregnant.
Yeah, the voice in my head said keep quiet.
So another daughter...remember this woman has like 8 of them....comes over to say Hi. I was sitting down, had just gotten new glasses the day before. As the young woman walked over to me, I could swear her belly was sticking out like she was 7 or 8 months along.
Yes I did, I asked her when she was due.
SHE WAS NOT PREGNANT!
I wanted to die, right there.....just die.
Her sisters, all 99 of them, gasped at my comment and I’m sure her mother heard. Man, she really looked pregnant to m.
But my apology was worse than the gaffe.
So the young woman goes outside and I’m burning inside, wondering how to get out of this mess. I glance outside at the young woman and she looks like a most ordinary un-PREGNANT woman....all I can think is I was seated, with brand=new bifocal glasses and my sight was altered with the newness of it all.
Or something.
So I went outside, located the young woman, took her aside, and told her that she was a perfectly slim young woman, that my position was seated and misleading....yada, yada.
She, of course, told me it was perfectly fine. Well she had to say that, didn’t she?
I looked at her sadly, knowing I FAILED....and I said softly “No it’s not.”
And I left. I went home. I am finished. I will not go to any events like this any more by myself.
Because of all this with my daughter I am trying desperately to find my life again, going to a Therapist, attending events that I not be constantly lonely and isolated.
But I failed.
Anybody got any ideas how I can possibly make it up to this young lady?
Cause I feel awful.
You did step in it, but don’t worry, it will be forgotten. We have all said that but then we never say it again.
PLEASE don’t worry about it!
Did you tell her about your new glasses, the bi-focals?
Dearest, sweet you. I know it’s causing you grief and worry, but this lady has likely already forgotten! We often feel guilty and tend to enlarge a small incident into something huge, when in fact, you didn’t harm her at all.
Had I been that woman, I would have laughed it off and likely given you a hug!
Well, I’ll try my .02 worth:
First, we’ve all done things like this. Second, the lady was either way overweight or she wasn’t. If the former, who knows, you may have caused her to change her lifestyle and avoid a later heart attack or diabeeetus.
This is one of those events that don’t seem too bad to those who are not in the story. I am happily typing away, wondering in the back of my head “what’s the big deal?” while you are devastated. But here is the good part: WE HAVE A GOD WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS! I suggest you go and re-read about the wedding in Cana in John 2. Here was a guy whose problems were his own fault, and may not have seemed that bad to anyone but himself, and yet Jesus used this for His first miracle! He knows that we make mistakes, and He also knows how hurt we can be by things which may seem small to others. Rejoice in this, and may you find peace!
Men know that while they don’t erase an error, flowers brighten the day of the recipient. Wait a few more days, and send her flowers with a short polite note about your still feeling terrible about your gaff.
That is all you can do. If you fixate on it after that followup kindness, you have to ask yourself if you are being vane about making an error and make yourself accept that you will make errors in life. It is the human side of all of us and we place undue burdens on ourselves if we don’t accept it.
Send her some flowers, Pat.
A card that is sincere, yet funny.
Please accept my apology, even my bifocals are failing me at my age..
or some such.
Best wishes,
yadayada