If I was forced to perform one of the freak shows it would be by my standards. It would be citing Romans and Leviticus and that is all and end with you may think your married but God says otherwise.
Hey, I did the service...
Bingo.
If I was asked to bake a cake I would say...
“I don’t personally acknowledge when gay people pretend to be married so I would rather not bake your cake. I understand that my refusal to bake the cake would result in legal ramifications so I will bake it. However, I must warn you that I don’t perform well when I am forced to do something with a gun pointed at my head. If you ultimately choose to force me into this, your cake probably won’t taste good.”