A possible solution...
Same sex marriage ceremony practices for this church.
The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that same sex marriage is a constitutional right.
Given that same sex couples will be demanding their rights be observed, under threat of law suits, the following practices for such union will be observed until such time as the Supreme Court of the United States deems otherwise.
1. There will be no fees required by this church.
2. Decorations will be allowed no earlier than 15 minutes prior to the ceremony.
3. Decorations will be removed within 15 minutes after the ceremony.
4. The ceremony will consist of the pastor saying, Do you (name1) take (name2) to be your USSC recognized spouse?
Upon response, the pastor will say, Do you (name2) take (name1) to be your USSC recognized spouse?
5. The then says, "USSC now considers you to be a couple."
You now have 15 minutes to take all your decorations and witnesses and depart the church.
After 15 minutes you will be considered trespassers and appropriate action will be taken.
I like this one:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3304967/posts#14
“I would be happy to officiate but in the interest of celebrating diversity the ceremony should be held in a mosque. Let me know when you have found one.
:-)
I, (name), take you (name), to be my USSC-designated plant/animal/robot/fictional partner in what the Chief Justice has defined to be “marriage”, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until divorce and/or boredom do us part.