Posted on 04/30/2015 2:42:03 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
As much as I love the vitally important “is ‘thug’ the new N-word?” debate, dumping on a mom for literally dragging her kid away from a riot that could have gotten him killed or sent to prison is my very favorite of this week’s many Baltimore hot takes.
How hot do you like it? Do you like it hitting-kids-is-bad-mmkay hot?
Extensive research shows that using harsh verbal discipline and physical hostility is counterproductive to good parenting. It increases the risk of delinquency, fighting, misbehavior and belligerence in teens. Science Daily reported that “harsh verbal discipline may actually aggravate” problematic behavior in teens. Shouting and insulting teens just doesn’t work long term. You are more likely to positively modify teen misbehavior by calmly and maturely discussing the consequences of the misbehavior…
Just like cursing doesn’t work, hitting children is also ineffective discipline. Physical punishment actually increases violent behavior among youth. According to the American Psychological Association, “adolescents who were more likely to engage in fighting, bullying, and victimization of others reported that their parents engaged in corporal punishment as a disciplining method.”
I can’t not read that in the voice of Mr. Van Driessen, but the author does concede at the end that “[Toya] Graham should be praised for being a caring parent with pure intentions,” leaving this hot take with a rating of “mild.”
If you’re looking for something with more heat, may I interest you in hitting-your-black-son-is-a-vestige-of-white-supremacy spiciness?
In other words, Graham’s message to America is: I will teach my black son not to resist white supremacy so he can live.
The kind of violent discipline Graham unleashed on her son did not originate with her, or with my adoptive mother who publicly beat me when I was a child, or with the legions of black parents who equate pain with protection and love. The beatings originated with white supremacy, a history of cultural and physical violence that devalues black life at every turn. From slavery through Jim Crow, from the school-to-prison pipeline, the innocence and protection of black children has always been a dream deferred.
While Graham did not literally lynch her son Michael, she metaphorically strung him up for the world to see — in hopes of keeping him alive…
The intensity of this fear is integral to the history of black Americans. Just as black parents have “the talk” with their children, listing survival tips for when they are confronted by white authority, black corporal punishment has been encouraged as the only way to make black children acceptable to society.
Could be. Or it could be that, amid a crowd of rioters, horrified at the thought of her son joining in and with her own safety at risk, she lost her temper and instinctively showed him she meant business when she said it was time for him to go home. The reason what she did resonated with so many parents, black and white, isn’t because they enjoy watching white supremacy in action. It’s because they can imagine their own horror at watching their kid throwing bricks at cops and admire her for having the balls to put herself in danger to get him out of there. What parent or would-be parent can’t respect a mom who’d do that for her son?
Anyway, I rate this take “atomically hot.” What do you think, Michael?
Baltimore “Mother Of The Year’s” Son Speaks
http://louderwithcrowder.com/baltimore-mother-of-the-years-son-speaks-2/
Unemployed single mom with 6 kids has money for coloring and tats? SMH
She may have ultimately saved her son’s life in the long run.
You gotta do what you have to do to curtail a rebellious child. That’s what that Mom did.
See post 3... Saving his life may not be the best thing for society.
Saving lives of wayward teens is always a good thing.
The presumption in favor of life is the basis of what you call "society".
Like another FReeper said, We the Taxpayer have a lot invested 😜
Trayvon in the making. Waste of time.
She got his attention.
People repent sometimes. I repented of a lot of youthful lunacy.
I grant you that is possible.
back when I was a child my parents believed in corporal punishment. I knew it and always behaved because who wants a spanking???
My aunt carried around a belt for corporal punishment when she watched her grandson. She used it on him often. He had issues. Now as a teen he is a good kid. Won’t ever be a Michael Brown.
Spare the rod spoil the child.
Thanks for the link. This is what her son said:
“I was embarrassed a little bit, until she just started talking to me when we got home,” he said. “(She was) just telling me she did it because she cared about me. And it wasn’t to embarrass me, but because she cared.”
RE: Trayvon in the making. Waste of time.
Nope, disagree. Not necessarily. I’ve seen a lot of single-mom kids like that who grew up to be upstanding citizens because their Mom exhibited tough love and discipline.
It is better to try and fail than not to try at all. and no, trying is NOT a waste of time.
I got beat my mom, my dad, my aunts and uncles, grandparents, school teachers, and occasionally my neighbors. I got beat for cussing, smoking, back talk in’, hitting my sister, picking on girls, and for disobedience.
It was a joint effort but it not only saved my life it help me become a successful business owner and father of three with a 40 year marriage and deacon in my church.
I beat mine too. One even threatened to “call the cops”. Big mistake his uncle responded. Unk wasn’t happy that had sassed his mother.
Horse Feathers! If that was my kid I would have cussed him out as I was beating him with a 2 by 4. Give me a break! Whatever it takes to keep them off the street.
My kids are 8 and 6. I have spanked both of them no more than half dozen times in total, and only three whacks at a time.
We have used the 1-2-3 method and it works up to a point. My wife uses 1-2-3 and a “time out”, and the kids basically ignore her and do the “time out” standing on their heads. I do 1-2-3 and at 3 you get your ass whacked. I vary the cadence to keep them on their toes. This time its 1......2.....3 and they are hustling at 2. Other days it’s 1..2......3 or 1.......2.3. or some combination thereof and it works like a charm for me. I hit 2 and they are on the move because they can’t trust the timing.
A lot more kids need the same!!!!
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