New Coke was a product designed to fail, by being pretty much indistinguishable from its competitor, Pepsi Cola.
Fail, Fail, Fail. See New Coke. See New Coke fail.
So when it failed, Coca-Cola management did a mea culpa and announced a New, New Coke: Coke Classic. Every bit like the Coca-Cola we all grew up with and loved...
...oh, well, with one tiny difference - it wasn't made with sugar. Instead, it had this new stuff in it called "High Fructose Corn Syrup", which would in time become associated diabetes.
Doesn't matter though... Coke Classic is a commercially successful product. And by the way, all carbonated drinks now bottled in the USA that aren't "diet" drinks are now made with HFCS instead of sugar. The entire soft drink industry was revolutionized by the failure of New Coke. A brilliant (Brilliant!) marketing scheme.
So, who or what is going to play Coke Classic to the drunkoldlesbian's New Coke?
Fauxcahontas? Algore? Or some other Communist?
Excellent analysis at every level. Spot on, old chap.
My guess - Fauxcahontas.
The one thing that New Coke didn't have was Pepsin, which is what makes Pepsi, a Pepsi, and a Coke, a Coke.
Pepsin is a flavoring in Pepsodent toothpaste, Beemans Gum, most root beers. Once you can identify it, you can't mistake it. And that is why a "new coke" was never going to be a Pepsi. It was sweeter tasting, even though it contained the same about of sugar. I didn't hate new coke, it was OK, but I liked and still like Coke better.